


Its too late-a mikannie fanfic

by 2u2000yrsfromnow



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Denial of Feelings, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, Minor Armin Arlert/Annie Leonhart, Past Relationship(s), Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-14 01:40:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 29,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29163621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/2u2000yrsfromnow/pseuds/2u2000yrsfromnow
Summary: Annie leonhart returns to the city after 2 years of military service, she returns to the group of childhood friends she somehow got caught up in, although things aren't the same as they used to be. dynamics completely change when Annie finds her past lover has seemingly forgotten about her and their fling, all she wants is things to be back to the way they used to be but 2 years is a long time...
Relationships: Hitch Dreyse/Annie Leonhart, Mikasa Ackerman/Annie Leonhart, Mikasa Ackerman/Eren Yeager
Comments: 41
Kudos: 119





	1. One month too many

The heavy peltering of rain against the window woke Annie leonhart up, the feeling of hot summer rain hit her, sweat trickled down her pale forehead 

She let out a large sigh and made her way to her washing room in her small city apartment, the washing machines gentle hums blocking out the ringing in her head. 

She lit up a cigarette, the smoke entering her washed out lungs

She'll quit tomorrow, she internally promised

Her phone vibrated in her hand as she brought it to her face, the light shocking her eyes

Armin artlet- 3:30am  
You up?  
Me eren and mikasa are going to  
lunch tomorrow, how about you  
join us? 

Annie pitied him, ever since she led him on at a party a month ago he won't leave her alone. Not that Armin wasn't nice, he would be anyones dream with those hopeful blue eyes and boy next door qualities, just Annie couldn't even think about anyone since her. 

The reason she knew that she couldn't bare going

Annie leonhart-3:35am  
Srry I have a shift, maybe another  
time 

It wasn't a complete lie, she was working just it didn't completely overlap

It's for the best, she told herself as she layed her head on the nearby stack of boxes letting the hum of the washing machine play a gentle melody and pushed her to a deep slumber.  
***  
A loud buzz ripped Annie from her dreams, an instant headache rattling through her brain

She cursed her alarm as she managed to peel herself off the hard surface and made her way to the living room 

Her dad was lieing on the couch, not unconscious but not fully awake either, empty bottles littered around the room

'hey dad' she murmured through a small breath knowing there would be no point. He hadn't been the same since the accident 

The accident that lead the money to dry up, for Annie to leave, selling her life to the military. part of her missed it, the routine and the travelling but it drained her, her mental health got to its lowest point, so when she got hurt from a minor plane accident, even though she was overall okay she used to opportunity to take her leave, she thought coming home would be easy, god she was wrong. 

Annie threw her hair into her classic bun and grabbed a bottle of juice and left her apartment, careful not to wake or disturb her father. 

The stairs that lead to the street were unpleasant, the smell of weed hit Annie's nose as she noticed the smashed up bottles littering the stairs, she's got used to these living conditions but she doesn't think she can ever get over the smell. 

As she made her way down the stairs she heard her neighbours blasting loud music, shes been back a month and still hasn't introduced herself to them, formalities are overrated. 

The city was bustling and busy, Annie blended in with the crowd as she made her way to work.

She entered the small coffee shop on the corner of a side street, the decor was light and causal, the shop was empty apart from Annie's co-worker hitch

'hey girlie' hitch smiled as Annie entered the shop and put on her apron 'how was your night?' 

Annie replied with a small groan making her way to the coffee press to make herself a coffee

'god aren't you a pleasure to work with, you know if you were on time and if you were just more social we could get along so much better' 

Annie knew hitch felt this way, her monologue about how miserable she was, was basically a daily occurance, she had this job to make money, not for friends even so hitch seemed like the type of girl that would bully her in highschool, the type of girl Annie couldn't get along with even if she wanted to. 

Her head seemed to clear as she took her first sip of her coffee, she was able to block out hitches constant rambling and focus on the many orders coming her way. 

After a long morning of unpleasant customers annie was finally let off her shift leaving a rather angry woman to the next girl. She made her way out the small shop and rested against a graffitied wall.

She took a cig out of her small bag and lit it up while watching two cats across the road fight, they looked vicious and angry, she wondered why they were mad, were they fighting over territory? Over other cats? Maybe over the last scraps of food? 

Annie was completely lost in her train of thought, her current escape from the world around her she forgot about her surroundings and couldn't see the black haired girl approaching her

'smoking kills you know' 

Annie snapped out of her haze. 

Mikasa. 

'I know, you've told me before' 

They stood against the wall in silence watching the cars

'I assume that you are on your way to meet armin and eren' Annie said to break the tension 

'yeah I heard you stood up the invitation' Mikasa replied, no emotion in either of their voices

'not feeling up to it' 

'I get the feeling you've been avoiding me ever since you got back' 

Annie knew she had, she knew Mikasa would catch on eventually but she didn't think she'd bring it up so calmly, a wave of sadness flooded her chest, Mikasa didn't care about her attention, something she used to crave. 

things really have changed. 

She turned her head to look at mikasa for the first time, she could never get used to her new short hair, Annie would never say this out loud but she hated it, it reminded her of how mikasa had cut a lot of things off for a change, including her

She remembered the hazy memories of mikasa laying in her lap after a long night of parties and friends, she would lay there plaiting her hair, they would open up their souls to each other, they knew each others deepest parts and embraced them, the world seemed to be in Annie's hands as she threaded the strands through her hair, everything felt irrelevant compared to the girl who layed next to her. 

But things weren't like that any more 

'I guess I better get going, goodbye Annie' 

She was with Eren now.


	2. Nostalgia

***  
2 years ago

Mikasa stepped into the familiar bar, yellow tinted light illuminated the dark corners of the alcohol smelling bar, small music pouring out of the barely working speakers, she scanned the room, it was filled with older men who have clearly had a bad day, looking for someone to pour their daily troubles to, she felt pity, she could see the ghosts in their eyes beckoning her over but she turned and made her way to her usual booth in corner of the dimly lit room. There waiting for her was the familiar warm face she knew so well.

Annie sat there laying against the broken cushion in the seat, Mikasa saw the pain in her eyes, she didn’t have the same warm face she used to have, she looked like a shell of her former self.

‘Here, I got you a drink’ Annie muttered as she slid the drink over to the other side of the table, it was a vodka coke, basic but Mikasa’s favourite, she almost smiled with the thought of how well Annie knew her. Mikasa ignored the drink and grabbed Annies hand 

‘Annie are you okay? I heard about your dads accident, it was all over the news, i tried reaching out to you, no response, i was worried sick until you texted me to meet you here’ Mikasa panicked, Annie looked back at her withdrawing her hand and crossing them against their chest.

‘Yeah I guess its been tough’ the dead look in her eyes just seems to grow, the life behind them seemed dim

‘Im sorry about what happened, I hope your dads okay, well as okay as you can be after a big accident, I heard the guy who caused the machine malfunction isn’t getting any charges or fine’

‘You can get away with anything when you’re rich, luckily the man who did it had a rich family to back him up, we had none of that, the construction firm couldn’t afford lawyers, my dad and I basically have no money left, we spent it all on his medical bills and the debt just keeps rolling in’ tears started to form over Annies steel blue eyes Mikasa could tell she was trying to hold back her emotions and shut everything out

‘I feel awful, is there anything I can do to help, you know I’ll support you through anything right, we’re in this together’

‘Im going away’ Annie stated bluntly 

‘What! Where?’ Mikasa gasped 

‘The army, they said they’d cover my dads medical bills with their insurance plan, it’ll also send money home to my dad each month now that he’s too ill to work’

‘Please Annie reconsider this there is other ways we can find you another j-‘

’THERE IS NO OTHER WAY’ Annie snapped ‘I’m not like you Mikasa you know what it was like for me in high school, I barely graduated, I have no higher qualifications, but you know what I did excel in? My strength and skill, I can be useful there instead of feeling like i'm just floating around living off you’

‘Oh so this is about me now is it? I see’

‘Mikasa no’ Annie grabbed her hand and looked into her eyes ‘you know I love you, I get that its in your nature to be protective but I don’t want to leave you, in fact that’s the hardest part, I’m trying to do what I can for my dad to survive so please hear what im trying to say, lately I’ve been feeling like I need more worth, a purpose’

‘When are you leaving’ Mikasa sighed 

‘Tomorrow morning’

‘WHAT? That’s not even enough time for me to properly say goodbye, for your friends to properly say goodbye, I don’t get how you can leave like this’

‘We were never meant to be permanent and you know that Mikasa, this started as a drunken hook up, I’ve never fit in with you Armin or Eren, its best for me to disappear into the shadows you’ll bounce back soon everything will go back to what it was like before without me’

‘Ive got attached to this drunken hookup, what does this mean for us?’

‘I don’t know Mikasa, I don’t know, I don’t want you to sit around waiting for me like some sad mopey girl who just lost their favourite toy, all want is for you to be happy and live your life’

‘I have based my happiness around you for the past year, how am I supposed to be happy now that you’ve gone? Do we even know how long you’re going to be gone?’

‘Around four to six years’

Mikasa buried her head in her hands and took a long sip of her drink, this was too much information too fast and Annie was barely giving her time to process anything, which she was sure Annie had planned

‘You can still write to me, I won’t be fully gone, im sure I can take leave and come to visit you’ Annie sighed

‘What if you get hurt, or worse die, I don’t think I could go to sleep every night knowing you could be out somewhere getting shot, its not a safe or stable career’

‘I know but the least I want Mikasa is for you to worry about me’

‘You know I always worry for you’

Early morning Annie woke up in Mikasa’s bed, Mikasa peacefully sleeping in her arms, she was content knowing her last memory of her before she left was her peaceful, happy and safe. Annie slowly wiggled out of bed making sure that she didn’t wake Mikasa. She picked up a pen and paper and wrote Mikasa a note:

Im sorry I have to leave like this,  
Ill miss you the most,   
Don’t wait around for me to come back, if you find love I want you to be happy,  
Ill always love you xx  
Annie 

***  
Present day

Mikasa walked away from Annie, she knew she was going to be late to her lunch with Armin and Eren and began to panic and speed up a bit, she knew talking to Annie would amount to nothing, she was lucky if she could even get two words out of her these days. It hurt her to see how Annie has ignored her ever since she came back but even more she was angry. Angry that Annie had told her to be happy, she had told her to move on, she had told her to be happy and not wallow in loneliness she really couldn’t see what the issue was with following her wishes.

Girls are complicated, Mikasa told herself, she thought Annie would come around and they could be friends, like the old times. Why couldn’t Annie just be happy for her instead of shutting herself off to the world and living one day at a time.

Mikasa made her way to the café that she was meeting Armin and Eren in, she looked into the window and saw them sitting at a small table in the corner, Armin seemed to be talking passionately to Eren about something while Eren sat inexpressively on his phone, a regular sight that was often seen at these lunches.

Mikasa walked into the café, took the seat nearest to Eren and linked arms with him

‘Hey guys’ she smiled with relief, it was nice to be with friends that seemed to acknowledge her, Eren looked at her and scrunched his nose instantly

‘Why do you smell of smoke?’ he frowned

‘Oh I bumped into Annie on the way, you know what she’s like with her smoking habits, especially recently’

‘Did you try to convince her to come, or text me back at least…’ Armin said hopefully

’Sorry Armin she seems pretty stubborn today’ Mikasa said sympathetically, Mikasa and Eren both know about Armin’s infatuation with Annie and they both realise its a lost cause, they know Annie would never be able to return his feelings but Armin is still persistent and says he has hope, whenever they ask him why he thinks he has a chance he starts to blush, goes quiet and starts mumbling about some party. Mikasa feels Armin is still stuck on the idea of them getting their old friend group back together so he stops feeling like he’s third wheeling anymore.

‘Whatever it really doesn’t matter about her, its always been us no matter what’ shrugged Eren ‘Armin I feel like you need to give up on that dream of getting with her, she’s never seemed to be interested in anyone, I swear she’s like some weirdo that’s probably attracted to plants or something’

‘Eren don’t be mean’ Armin replied in Annies defence 

‘Its true, have you ever seen that girl show affection to anything? Exactly she’s definitely void of any emotion’ Eren laughed 

Mikasa often forgets that her friends never knew about her and Annie, it was always their secret, their little world. They both agreed at first their relationship was casual so there was no point making any official announcements but when you were in as deep as Mikasa got herself, things quickly turned serious and went from casual to more serious with each day. Although they talked about it they never made their relationship public, it was never the right time, never the right place, Mikasa’s mind always lingered on why it never seemed the right time when it all felt so natural to her.

She managed to have a nice lunch with her friend and boyfriend, pushing Annie to the back of her mind to rot, she was happy now, just because her ex has come back doesn’t mean she has to think of it, instead she admired her boyfriend next to her, she was grateful to have him, younger her had waited for this moment her whole life so why shouldn’t she enjoy it?

After Armin left, her and Eren walked hand in hand in silence back to his apartment, she watched the sun slowly lower behind the clouds and basked in the silence, Eren's hand was rough and had a firm grip, it kept her hand warm and she blushed looking down at both their hands while using her other hand to brush her bangs out of her face.

After ten minutes they got to Eren’s apartment, it was a stuffy messy place, with unwashed dishes in the sink socks strewn over the place and takeout boxes littering the table, its what you would expect from a young man living alone in this day and age, but to Mikasa it felt always felt familiar and the the warm smell made her feel at home, she was excited to spend some time alone with Eren after not seeing him for a while.

‘Hey Eren, do you want to snuggle up on the couch and watch a movie? you can choose it, I brought some popcorn for us if you want’ Mikasa asked

‘Nah, I’m going to go play some GTA online with Zeke, you know brotherly bonding time, you have fun though, oh and also you can stay the night if you want, I’m not busy tomorrow’ and he strode off to his room quickly and Mikasa was left alone in the living room, she was disappointed but not surprised.

She made her way over to the kitchen and made her self a hot drink, she breathed in as she felt the drink warming up her insides and she began to feel more calm. Most of the time she went over to Eren’s it went like this, she usually was left alone and either cleaned up his house or sat alone watching TV until Eren had passed out from playing video games and she crawled into bed with him, it was basically their routine at this point.

She sat on the couch with a bowl of popcorn and her drink, she wrapped herself up in a blanket. She scrolled through Netflix for a movie to watch, after about ten minutes of mindlessly scrolling she decided to watch legally blonde, chick flicks were one of Mikasa’s guilty pleasures but whenever she wanted to watch them with Eren he would complain that he’s not watching ‘that girly shit’ and they would end up watching the fast and the furious. Mikasa put on the movie and started to relax, she deserved it.

Mikasa remembered the first time she watched legally blonde, Mikasa was at her apartment with Annie and they were scrolling through movies to watch. She requested legally blonde as she had heard it was good but Annie heavily protested to it claiming she didn’t like cliché teenage girl movies but eventually she caved to Mikasa’s begging. Annie was more engrossed in the movie than Mikasa was she never tore the eyes off the screen no matter how much Mikasa tired to direct her attention towards her. After that night Annie became a bigger chick flick fanatic than Mikasa was, one of their favourite pass times was binge watching all the classics and going to the cinemas to see all the new releases. They would also argue about who they were Annie always claimed to be a Janis Ian while Mikasa constantly argued she was more a Regina George, how she missed their play fighting but she knew something died in Annie the day she went away, its almost as she wasn’t alive anymore, rather a corpse on autopilot.

As the credits rolled tears rolled down Mikasa’s cheeks with yearning of lost love and what could have been if everything didn’t go to shit, she missed Annie.

God what the fuck was she thinking she had a boyfriend, one she loved very much, this is just the nostalgia talking, she missed Annie but not in that way surely.

She walked into the next room and leant against the door frame, her bloodshot eyes staring at Eren passed out on the bed, she walked over to him and kissed his temple, slowly she moulded her way into his arms, 

‘Are you okay?’ He grumbled eyes still shut half asleep

‘Yeah’ she replied as she shut her eyes pushing the last of the tears out

She’s happy, right?


	3. Parties

Annie sat in the backroom of the coffee shop, loud music blasting though her cheap headphones. She had decided to take a short break from work, god she was so tired, she’d spent all last night in the bathroom with her dad, he’d come home drunk last night, it was clear he’d had too much so she kept him company while he threw his guts up in the toilet she knew she’d have to get round to cleaning up but she didn’t want to focus on that right now, she focused on the music she had put on, ignoring her surroundings she shut her eyes, a quick nap would be fine right?

Suddenly Annie felt something tug out her earphone, a small hand waving in-front of her face.

‘Hitch I’m sorry I’ll get back to work now’ Annie groaned opening her eyes

‘No no don’t worry I’m not here not moan at you for once’ Hitch stated calmly ‘you need a break, god knows we all need one’ 

‘What do you want’ 

‘Okay so I know we don’t talk civilly much but I really need to ask you a favour’ Hitch blushed ‘so its my friends birthday today and he’s having this huge party on the east side, all my friends are taken and I’m the only one left single, at these parties I usually end up sitting drinking alone being the only single one in my group’

‘So?’

‘So can you please be my date?’ Hitch embarrassingly blurted out ‘It’s not official or anything just so I don’t feel so lonely out there, is it sad to admit you’re the only one I know outside my friend group?’

Annie paused for a second, a date with hitch? Well a half date really but the idea sounded absolutely crazy to her, all Hitch did was moan at her whenever they spoke. She looked up at hitch, she wasn’t unattractive at all, in fact she was really pretty. Those big hazel eyes filled with emotion and the caramel hair she always kept curled and short, her constant positive attitude could be a welcome change but Mikasa. 

Annie thought it was time to admit to herself it was over, Mikasa was with Eren now, she wasn’t hers anymore and going out with Hitch could help get rid of this looming claim Annie felt Mikasa has over her, Mikasa has moved on, she needs to get rid of the chains she has restricted herself with and step into the world of dating. Even though Annie had a very much lone wolf mentality she missed having someone there, someone she could call at 3am when she felt restless, someone who could provide her with love, the type that gives you the motivation to get out of bed, to stop making you feel like a zombie. Could anyone other than Mikasa make her feel that…

‘Hellooo, earth to Annieee’ Hitch laughed ‘you completely zoned out there’

‘Sure i'll join you’ Annie replied shrugging 

‘OMG REALLY?!’

Annie nodded back at her in affirmation

‘Thank you so much Annie you’re a lifesaver! It message you the deets and we’ll meet up later’ Hitch squealed ‘but now I’m really going to have to ask you to get back to work as there’s a growing crowd out there’

Annie half smiled and stood up, hoping she had made the right choice, at least it gave her something to look forward to.

***

Hours later Annie stood in front of her cracked dirty mirror, she smudged her eyeliner under her eyes, it had been a while since she'd made an effort and dressed up. Annie was trying to make it look like she was making an effort but not too much of an effort. She decided to throw on a small strappy crop top with black skinny jeans, topped with a grey flannel.

Oh god was it too little she thought, was it too dark? What if hitch didn’t like grunge, what if she was more into girly girls? Hitch messaged her saying to dress kinda party casual, what did that even mean?

‘Just be yourself Annie’ she affirmed to herself in the mirror ‘she’ll either love you or hate you, doesn’t matter either way you’re just trying to put yourself out there’

Annie made her way out of the bathroom after spraying on a quick cloud of perfume and reapplying her lipgloss. Her dad was sitting up on the couch watching reruns of old truck tv shows.

‘You’re going out?’ he asked

‘Yeah, i'll be back tonight don’t worry’

‘I don’t care about that Ann, you’re an adult now, I’m glad you’re getting back out, you’ve seemed low lately, I’m glad your trying to get your sparkle back’

‘Thanks dad, take care of yourself’ she smiled and patted his head.

She made her way out of her door and out of her apartment complex, to the bus stop, Annie lived in the south side of the city and it would take her about 45 minutes to walk there and that was extra effort she didn’t want to spare.

She leant on the bus stop lighting a cigarette against her lips, every time she smoked Mikasa’s nagging rung in her head.

God give me a fucking break she thought, its not her fault she needed extra shit to get her through the day, Mikasa never understood that, she was always too overprotective. 

She really needs to stop thinking about Mikasa. New date, new girl she really needed to clean her head of the old Mikasa cobwebs, if not for her out of respect for Hitch.

The bus pulled up and Annie stepped on, taking a window seat, she watched the rolling colours of the city go by, it calmed her, she thought the city at night was the most magical thing, while it was still the same rat infested, smelly, overcrowded city the lights made it look enticing, the perfect false advertising drawing people in.

The bus stopped abruptly at Annies stop, she slowly made her way out the bus and into the night air, she could hear the loud music coming from the address she was meant to be going to. This part of the city seemed oddly familiar I mean why wouldn’t it? She’s been around the city before but something seemed odd about the area she was in now, it felt like a bad omen. Annie shook it off as bad nerves, she hasn’t gone one a date since she got back, especially since this date is with a veryyy attractive girl she works with.

‘Annie!’ 

Annie turned her head and saw Hitch waving at her standing outside of the house, she was wearing a black mini skirt with a low-cut red top, she looked like a jewel compared to Annies slouchy outfit.

‘Hitch, hi, sorry to keep you waiting you know how public transport is’

‘Don’t even worry about it, you’re not even that late’ Hitch smiled her cheeks slightly tinted, Hitch quickly grabbed Annies hand, taking her by surprise, and led her up the stairs to her house.

The house was packed with people, all engrossed in conversation, dancing or drinking.

‘Wait here a sec Annie I’ll go get us some drinks, thanks for coming by the way, it really means so much to me’ Hitch stated and then ran off.

Annie stood alone in the crowded room, multi coloured party lights flooding her eyes, this room gave her a strange feeling of nostalgia that she couldn’t quite shake, how did a place she’s never been to look so familiar.

‘Sorry I didn’t know what drink you like so I just got you some basic alcohol you know the cheap shit’ Hitch said as she appeared behind her thrusting the drink into her hand. Annie clutched the plastic red cup into her hand and quietly thanked Hitch.

‘Annie lets go meet my friends’ Hitch shouted loudly to get her voice heard over the music, Annie smiled and followed her, its been a long time since she’s been to a party like this.

Hitch lead her around the room through the crowds of people, somehow parting the people like some kind of glowing light which left Annie shocked how could someone so magnetic be willing to hang out with her. 

Hitch lead Annie to a group of people who congregated into the middle of the room, Annies eyes scanned the room and a bad feeling filled her gut.

‘So Annie here are my friends, Petra, Levi, Marco, jean, Marlow, a-‘

‘Sorry I’ve got to go’ Annie suddenly exclaimed and walked away rapidly from the group

She knew exactly where she remembered this place from, the party she went to the night she got back.

She was going to throw up

***  
One month ago

Annie returned from the army at three in the morning, her dad came to greet her at the airport giving her a firm hug

‘I missed you Ann, I’m so glad you’re back’ he stated lovingly

The day consisted of her and her dad catching up, making up for lost time she missed him so much, she almost forgot the reason she needed to go away in the first place.

She hadn’t told Mikasa she was coming back yet, she felt guilty for not informing her but she wanted to surprise her, she wanted to see the look on her face when she got back, she hasn’t heard from Mikasa in months the writing kind of dried up after the first year of Annie being away but she was confident that things would go back to the way they were, when she was at her happiest.

Annie crashed on her bed for the first time in ages. The comfort encased her.

BUZZ

Her phone went off and it caught her attention, it was a message from her old girls gym group chat

Sasha: so who’s going to the party on the east side tonightttt???

Ymir: who’s party even is it?

Sasha: idk, some guy called jean but what does it matter? We haven’t gone out in ages

Mikasa: it hasn’t been the same without Annie and you guys know it

Annie smirked to herself, Mikasa missed her, the thought of surprising her just got more appealing, she couldn’t wait to get back in her arms, back where she belongs

Mikasa: anyways I’m bring Armin and Eren with me, I’m assuming you’re bringing Historia with you Ymir?

Ymir: of course, we’re a two package deal these days

Sasha: anyways predrinks at mine?

Mikasa: got it, we’ll be there

Annie switched her phone off. This was the night. Her and Mikasa would finally reunite, the thought of it made her heart light up, she felt like thousands of fireworks were going off inside her at once.

Annie admired herself in her bedroom mirror, the black skintight dress hugged her curves, the military has done wonders to her body and she was ready to display it. Although this dress was completely not Annies style, Mikasa had brought it for her one off the first times they ever went shopping but she’d always to be too insecure to wear it. Her hair laid on the shoulders in the curls she had styled herself with a ten year old curling wand. Mikasa always liked her hair down.

She wanted to make this night memorable and look her best, especially since this was the night. She wanted Mikasa to look at her and freeze, she wanted her to be surprised and feel the same way she did the first night they were together, maybe they could tell their friends tonight of their relationship and they could be open, she wanted people to look at them in awe and think, they looked happy, they looked in love.

Annie bounced her hair one more time and grabbed her purse, she walked out the door and prepared for the best night of her life.

She arrived to the party, to a room with unfamiliar faces. The music blaring loud hurting her ears, she walked further into the room, trying to push her way through people.

She spotted Sasha, Ymir and who she assumed to be Historia all standing together

‘Oh my god is that Annie leonhart!’ Sasha shouted 

‘Fucking hell’ Ymir exclaimed ‘get your ass over here girl’

Annie walked over to them with a small smile, Sasha pulling her into a long tight hug

‘Why on earth are you back? We weren’t expecting you for ages, we’d at least expect some kind of notice’ Ymir said

‘Oh uh its a long story’ Annie said while shaking Historia’s hand ‘um where’s Mikasa?’

‘Ooh Annies really out of the loop, isn’t she?’ Sasha laughed while looking at everyone ‘her and Eren left agesss ago, they had a few drinks, started getting all giggly and whispery and we all know what that means. They went home together about twenty minutes ago, its a shame you missed her’

Annies heart froze, what on earth was Sasha going on about, what did this all mean

‘So um m-mikasa and Eren huh?’ Annie managed to stutter out

‘Oh yeah’ Ymir replied ‘they got together about a year ago, we were all expecting it, it was like a scene out of a romance film, Mikasa wouldn’t stop blushing for months, personally I think-‘

Something had come over Annie a feeling of nausea, she couldn’t hear what Ymir was saying, her eyes went fuzzy and the music became washed out, the beat spreading through her body like venom, she didn’t know what to do but she knew she couldn’t stay there.

‘Uh I feel ill, must of been the journey, ill be back’

Annie quickly hurried away, holding back the tears that she felt forming behind her eyes, her legs began to shake, she felt utterly destroyed, like she couldn’t breathe

Is this what heartbreak felt like?

She sat outside on the cold hard steps, tears streaming down her cheeks, her eyeliner was streaking her face as she brought a cigerette up to her face with a shaking hand.

She had her first breath in what felt like ages, the smoke entering her lungs and calming some of her nerves.

At least she finally had a reason why Mikasa’s letters became less and less over the last year.

‘Hey I brought you a drink’ 

Annie turned her head and saw a certain familiar blonde boy sitting next to her holding two drinks

‘Don’t suppose you have anything stronger’ she half laughed while bringing the cig up to the lips again, blowing a large amount of smoke into Armins face

‘Uh no, but I can go get something more if you want’ Armin coughed ‘understand it must be hard to come back after so long, it must be a lot for you’

‘Yeah something like that’

Armin was nice, she liked him, she'd neglected their friendship over the years Armin was always there for her, unlike Mikasa she thought grudgingly 

‘Annie please come back inside’ Armin sighed ‘we all missed you, I know things are stressful at the moment but we can all help, we’re your friends’

‘I look like a fucking mess’ she replied with a breathy laugh

‘I have some wipes, you know how prepared I am’

Annie took a long sip of her drink

‘Hand them over’

Armin took a small packets wipes out of his bag

‘Perks of having friends who throw up a lot’ he laughed

He took a wipe out of the packet and scooted closer to her

‘Shut your eyes’ he whispered

Annie could feel him wiping the eyeliner of her face slowly and carefully, you could tell he had experience with this sort of thing

‘Thanks a bunch Armin, i owe you’ she said standing up and brushing off her dress 

‘Now lets go get absolutely piss faced to forget about our problems’

’Sounds like a deal’ Annie smiled while rubbing her cigarette butt into the ground with her heel.

The rest of the night was a haze for Annie, she spent the whole night drinking and dancing with her friends

drinks, after drinks, after drinks

After a long night her head felt fuzzy but she still could slightly think straight. Her heels were aching and her head was pounding. She scanned the empty room and saw Armin laying barely conscious against the wall

‘Come on lets get you home you alcoholic’ she laughed picking him up and putting his arm around her shoulder

‘Hhheyyy you had as much to drink as I had’ 

‘Yeah but I’m not as much of a lightweight as you are’

‘Built like a tank’

‘Yup, now lets call you a cab Armin’

They sat together in the cool city air on a dirty littered curb waiting for their ride.

’Aannieee do you love anyone’ Armin slurred

‘I did, yeah’ Annie suddenly remembered why she had so much to drink, why she had this unsettling feeling in her stomach, why she was ending the night unhappy in the first place

‘I love you Annie’ 

‘Love you too Armin’

’No no no, not like thattt’

Annie laughed at his drunken antics.

She was caught off guard as Armin grabbed the back go her neck and pulled her head closer

It was a rather unpleasant kiss, sloppy and unrequited. Annie pulled away and took a look at Armin’s bright red face

‘No armin, no’ Annie responded

‘I know you love me realllllyyy Annie, ill keep try-‘

He passed out on her shoulder, his big blue eyes closing, she rubbed his hair and looked up at the night sky.

She could repress her feelings for a little bit longer

The cab pulled up five minutes later and her and Armin both got in, leaning against the window all she could think about was Mikasa, she felt hurt betrayed.  
How was she supposed to go on without the person she had become so attached to? She remembered her last words in her note to Mikasa and how she told her she wanted her to move on and be happy

God how dumb she was 

When Annie finally got home she completely broke. She sunk down to her knees in her bathroom and let out a loud sob. Tears blocking her vision and staining her dress

How dumb was she to think Mikasa would wait? How dumb was she to think Mikasa truly loved her? How dumb she was to think what they had was special and that she wasn’t just a distraction while she waited for Eren to love her back?

Annie was done with straight girls, girls who were looking to experiment, girls who she would get attached to after one hookup, girls who used her as a stop on the way to their endgame boyfriend, girls who ‘I love you’ is just words to

Annie took the photo of her and Mikasa out of her purse and flushed it down the toilet with the vomit she left in there earlier

She was done with Mikasa Ackerman.

***  
Annie sat shaking in a vacant room hugging her knees, she'd pushed most of the memories of that night out of her head, why does it hurt as much as the first time.

She got her phone out of her pocket without even thinking, her finger floating over Mikasa number. What on earth was she doing?

Her finger pressed down lightly on the ‘call’ button. 

Straight to voicemail.

‘Mikasa im so sorry’ Annie cried into the phone she clutched tightly in her hand ‘I’m so so dumb, when I heard you were with Eren I got irrational and I kinda flipped out, you’re happy, god knows I’m not, but I’m glad you’re happy, Mikasa please but can we at least be friends I’m done with ignoring you, I miss you so much, id do anything to make it up to you, please please call me’

She played her head against the wall and let out a deep breath, her head felt more clear, maybe closure is what she needed and ignoring Mikasa would only make things worse

Annie suddenly heard a knock on the door 

‘Hey Annie are you in there?’

It was Hitch.

‘Come in’ Annie said through a voice tired out from crying

Hitch came and sat next to her, looking into her eyes

‘Annie are you okay, you were gone ages, I was beginning to think you stood me up’

’No no, id never do that’ Annie wiped away the tears that had gathered underneath her eyes. Hitch looked down at Annies phone, Mikasa’s contact on display

‘Ah I get it now’ Hitch sighed calmly ‘was I a rebound then? Is that why you said yes?’

‘Hitch I promise its nothing like that’

‘She’s pretty, is she your girlfriend or maybe a recent ex?’

‘Im over her, I am, just some recent memories came back and you know how that can be painful after even the longest of breakups’

‘I get it, I do, do you want me to call you a taxi?’

’No, I really like you Hitch. I think I should come out and meet your friends again, I apologise for the bad first impression’ Annie smiled 

Hitch smiled wide back at her, and grabbed her hand to help her stand up and lead her away

‘Hitch’

‘Mhm’ she stopped and turned around

Annie inched in closer to her staring into her eyes, her cheeks flushing pink, she pressed her lips against Hitches

She was looking forward to this new beginning.


	4. Reconnection

It was 12am at night, Mikasa lay sleeping soundly on Eren’s chest, her eyes shut dreams dancing in her head

_BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ_

Mikasa’s phone rang waking her abruptly, her vision still a blur with sleep

‘Ugh turn it off will you’ Eren groaned as he awoke from the noise

Mikasa reached over to her night table and pressed ‘decline call’

‘Who was it?’ Eren asked pulling Mikasa back into his chest

‘I don’t know, I didn’t look, I’ll call them back in the morning’ Mikasa yawned as she fell back into her deep sleep

Hours later Mikasa woke up, Eren was still fast asleep, she looked down on his sleeping figure and smiled. The sunlight poured through cracks of the curtains as Mikasa made her way out of bed and through to the kitchen, she poured herself a coffee and slumped down on the couch and lazily clicked on the TV for background noise.

She laid back and switched on her phone. 1 missed call, 1 new voicemail from Annie Leonhart. Mikasa could swear she felt her heart stop, why was Annie calling her at midnight? She nervously played the voicemail.

The message played and her heart shattered at Annies cries through the phone. Why on earth didn’t she pick up that call? The sound of Annies sobs made Mikasa want to run to her, she always wanted to help Annie and she sounded so lost, she wished to hold her like she used to do all those years ago.

But friendship, Annie was willing to let down her guard and be her friend again, she let out a sigh of relief, everything seemed to be coming into place, she was dating Eren Yeager and her favourite person was coming back into her life, maybe things could go back to the way they were.

She turned her head and saw Eren walking out of the bedroom, he was fully dressed and he looked like he was going out somewhere

‘What are you doing?’ Mikasa asked calmly

‘I am um going out, ill be back around the evening’ he replied

‘Eren I thought we had our date today, I made us reservations at our favourite restaurant to celebrate us finally moving in together’

‘Oh shit I forgot about that, can’t you cancel, I’m really busy today?’

‘Fine’ Mikasa sighed ‘but I want you to know this has upset me, I told you about these plans a week ago, you had enough time to clear your schedule’

‘I know babe, im sorry’ he said leaning in and giving her a quick kiss on her cheek ‘ill be back later, okay? Have a great day’

He quickly fled out the door and left Mikasa alone in their apartment, she better cancel their reservations

Mikasa phoned up the restaurant and paused the TV

‘Hello? Id like to cancel a reservation under the name of Ackerman’

’Sorry ma’am I cannot do that, its too short notice’

‘Can’t you just cancel it? Its as easy at that’

‘Sorry but its not as simple as that, you don’t have to show up but im afraid there’s a fee for that’

‘Wait but-‘

The restaurant hung up on her and Mikasa let out a grunt of frustration, she guess her plans for the day were to sit alone in a restaurant pondering over the fact that her boyfriend left her on a day of celebration. Wait, she could use this opportunity to reconnect with Annie, it was a casual setting where they could talk and maybe catch up.

***  
_BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ_

Annie woke up to the sound of her phone ringing, a splitting pain ran through her head, she had had way to much to drink tonight. She reached over and grabbed her phone

‘What do you want’ Annie groaned

‘God you sound terrible’ 

It was Mikasa, she had completely forgot about the voice mail she left, fuck she must have sounded pathetic.

‘Oh uh hi Mikasa, im just a tiny bit hung over’

‘I can tell, so you were drunk last night?’

‘A little bit, I think’

’So Annie listen, I had resturant reservations with someone today but they cancelled on me last minute, so I was wondering if you wanted to come and we could you know, catch up? Unless you’re busy and have other plans’

‘Uh no I’m available today, let me go throw up and pop a couple pain killers and I’ll be right there’

‘Cool I’ll see in in about an hour’

Annie hung up the phone and laid back in her bed. Wow. She was really reconnecting with Mikasa today. This was scary

She checked her messages, 1 new message from Hitch

**Hitch:** hey Annie, I really had fun last night xx

Annie smiled at her phone, remembering how much fun she had with Hitch last night

**Annie:** I had fun too, lets do it again sometime

Annie finally rolled out of bed and walked to her kitchen area, her dad passed out on the couch, at least she’ll always be the lighter drinker. She chucked down a couple of painkillers with a small glass of water.

She went to her bedroom and threw on on old jeans and her normal hoodie, she didn’t need to look too fancy, its not like she needed to impress her, it was just a meet up, no pressure

She stood outside the restaurant Mikasa told her to go to, she looked around and couldn’t see Mikasa, she leant against the wall of the restaurant to wait, her heart raced, she lit up a cig to calm her nerves, what was she doing here? Could she even face talking to Mikasa.

She saw Mikasa approaching her, she acknowledged her with a small nod

‘Smoking again?’ Mikasa asked

‘Yeah, this isnt easy for me’

‘Yeah neither’ Mikasa chuckled ‘lets go inside’

Mikasa took Annie into the dimly lit restaurant, the smell of food incased her senses, it had been so long since she had gone out to eat. A waiter approached them as they stood waiting to be seated

‘Hello, do you have a reservation?’ he asked

‘Yes, it should be under the name Ackerman’ Mikasa replied

They walked to their table and sat down, Annie buried her face into the menu, she had no idea what to say.

‘Wow this place is fancy, you trying to seduce me Ackerman’ Annie asked to break the silence ‘some friend you must of been coming here with, differs from our old crappy bar’

‘It uh was actually Eren I was coming here with, he forgot it was today, we were supposed to celebrate moving in together’ Mikasa said sadly

‘That sucks, congrats on moving in though’ Annie had a hard time masking her spite

‘Yeah, I thought moving in would bring us closer, but somehow it hasn’t’

’Talk to him I guess’

‘You don’t seem to care’

‘Come on Mikasa I don’t know anything about men, im the worst person to ask, especially when it comes to Eren, you’ve literally picked the hardest man to date’

‘I must have really bad luck, I picked the hardest man and the hardest woman’ she said glaring at Annie

‘Hey come on I wasn’t the bad, you were the difficult one’

‘Says the one who purposely ignored me for a month’

‘And im sorry about that’

They descended into silence and pretended to look at their menus

‘Can I take your order please’ a female waiter came up to them with her pad, getting ready to write down what they say while eying up Annie

‘I’ll have a burger please, with a water’ Mikasa said

‘Just fries for me, with a Diet Coke, thanks’ Annie said expressionless 

‘Hey um how do you get your hair so blonde?’ The waitress asked Annie ‘it looks good on you, I am never able to achieve that colour’

‘Its natural, but thanks I guess’ Annie replied as she walked away

‘Hey’ Mikasa said getting Annies attention

‘What?’

‘She was totally into you’ Mikasa laughed

‘Not interested’

‘Come on, you need to be getting yourself out there, you know to get over-‘

‘Oh my god Mikasa you are so self absorbed’ Annie half laughed ‘and im not lonely, im actually seeing someone at the moment’

Mikasa felt her heart freeze a little

‘O-oh’ Mikasa stuttered ‘I am um happy, Im happy for you, who is it?’

‘This girl called Hitch, we work together’

‘Is she nice?’

‘The nicest’

‘That’s cool, that’s um cool, maybe we could go on a double date, me you, hitch and Eren’

‘You know I can’t stand Eren, I wouldn’t put Hitch through that’ Annie said bluntly

About twenty minutes later their food arrived, and the atmosphere became a little less awkward

‘Annie you need to do something about Armin’ Mikasa said

‘What?’ Annie replied as she shoved fries into her mouth

‘Hes completely in love with you and you keep ignoring him’

‘And thats my problem because?’

‘Apparently you lead him on, he thinks he has a chance’

‘In my defence I did not lead him on’ Annie stated ‘the alcohol must have altered his memory’

‘Then what really did happen?’ Mikasa asked

‘Long story short, I want to a party when I got back to surprise you but when I got there I heard you were with Eren so me and Armin got absolutely drunk to forget about it, he kissed me and I rejected him, I think his memories are a little blurry’

‘Oh uh wow, poor Armin, im sure when he hears you’re seeing someone he'll let it go’

‘Yeah I hope so, im sick of him blowing up my phone asking if im okay’

‘He just cares about you Annie, we all do’

Mikasa went to grab Annies hand by instinct but withdrew it quickly, its not like that between them anymore.

‘Thanks for inviting me’ Annie said as they split the check

‘No problem, seeing you cheered me up, you know after Eren ditched me’

‘You deserve better Mikasa’ Annie said glaring at her

’No, don’t say things like that Annie, you don’t have to be blunt like that all the time’

‘Well I hope you can patch things up with Eren I guess’

‘There’s nothing to patch up he just forgot’ 

‘For some reason I don’t trust that’

‘He’s my boyfriend Annie, he’s not there for you to constantly pass judgement on, there’s trust between us, a lot changed when you left’ Mikasa argued

‘I can tell’ the emotion draining out of Annies voice ‘well I had fun today Mikasa, I’ll see you around’ Annie got up and left, 

‘Annie wait!’ Mikasa shouted after her, Annie stopped walking ‘Annie you’re not leaving me again are you?’

‘No, i’d never do that to you again’ Annie turned around with a half smile, Mikasa knew deep down she cared as she watched Annie continue walking

Mikasa left the restaurant and walked through the city alone, she should be with Eren right now, maybe she should call him. No she can’t he’s busy, its not like he’ll pick up

She passed a building, music blaring out of it, she looked into the windows and saw what was happening, a wedding, they all looked so happy in there, the bride was being twirled across the floor by her husband. Mikasa could imagine herself in that situation, dancing all night in a big dress, Annie there with her spinning her around.

Fuck. She meant Eren, why did her brain jump to Annie? Mikasa brushed it off, probably because she spent a lot of time with Annie today, nothing more.

Weddings made Mikasa happy, they reminded her of one of her happiest nights. The night when she and Annie got closer.

***  
**3 years ago**

It was the day of the Yeagers wedding, Grisha Yeager was finally marrying the woman of his dreams Carla Yeager. They had been together for so many years, even having a son together, they finally had the money and the time to marry.

Mikasa wasn’t enjoying herself at this wedding, she sat depressingly by the bar in the hotel ballroom of the wedding reception on her second drink, she watched Eren on the dance floor, he had brought his new girlfriend to the wedding, they’d only been dating for two months but the thought of it made Mikasa feel sick, that should be her up there dancing with Eren, not some random girl he met at university, when will he realise she was the one who cared about him, she was the one who loved him.

Mikasa adjusted her silk red dress and sighed, she was lonely at a wedding, a time of joy and love yet she was miserable. She was happy for Grisha but she missed the times when Eren paid more attention to her, she’d barely spoken to Eren today, all he wanted to do was pay attention to this girl, she thought she could use the opportunity of a wedding to finally confess her feelings for him but then she showed up and ruined Mikasa’s life.

‘Someones deep in thought’

Mikasa awoke from her trance and looked who was sitting next to her, it was her friend Annie, she was wearing a black top with a matching black mini skirt, she was wearing her hair down for once, Mikasa liked it

‘Ha yeah’ Mikasa replied

‘You need to chill with the glare Mikasa, you’re killing that poor girl with it’

‘Sorry Annie, just you know how it is’

‘Yeah, don’t worry he’ll see the light one day Mikasa, you’re a great girl’

‘I hope so but for now I have to watch him dance with some random slut he picked up from some nightclub floor’

‘Lets not jump to the slut shaming now, the girl is innocent, always blame the man, its his fault your sad and here drinking away your feelings’ Annie stated ‘it seems like we need more drinks’

Annie signalled to the bartender and he sent them over some shots

‘Weddings fucking suck man’ Annie said downing her first shot

‘Amen to that’ Mikasa affirmed as she down her one

An hour later Mikasa was drunk crying to Annie at the bar

‘Annie I really don’t know what he doesn’t see in me, I am always here for him, I try my best, yet I’m never good enough’ she sobbed

‘Mikasa he’s a dickhead, he never treats you right’ Annie said her face also flushed from one too many drinks

‘Annieee don’t say that about him’

‘Mikasa im not going to let you sit here and let a man, especially an average looking one ruin you night’ Annie quickly downed another drink as low music started

‘Annie now im going to have to sit over here and watch Eren slowdance with a girl who’s skinnier than me, prettier than me funnie-‘

‘Mikasa stop it, you’re gorgeous and you look like an absolute goddess, you are looking sexy as hell in that dress and any boy to chose someone else over that is out of their mind’

‘Thank you Annie’ Mikasa looked up at Annie with tear filled eyes

‘Now Mikasa this is what we’re going to do, we’re going to have another round of shots then you’re going to come out and dance with me’

‘Nooo Annie I’m not a lesbian’

‘Its not about that Mikasa, its about enjoying tonight, now lets go’

Annie grabbed Mikasa hand and led her to the dance floor

Mikasa threw her hands around Annies waist and slowly gliding to the music to the best of her ability

‘Annie your skin is so softtt’

‘Can say the same about you’ Annie giggled back

‘Ive never slow danced with another girl before’ Mikasa whispered to Annie

‘Do you like it’

‘Yes, I do’

‘Mhm’

Annie and Mikasa spent the night having more drinks and dancing, they were both very drunk and high off the energy of the wedding, nothing seemed to matter apart from being in each others company

They giggled and ran up the stairs of the hotel

‘Annieeee what on earth did you just do’ Mikasa slurred sitting down at the top of the stairs

‘I-i-i stole a room key’ Annie could barely talk from laughing

‘Annie youuu could get in trouble’

Annie moved her face towards mikasas and whispered in her ear

‘I don’t care’

They both burst out into fits of laughter, so much they could barely breathe

‘Have you forgotten about Eren yetttt’ Annie asked resting her head on Mikasa’s shoulder

‘Whos Eren’ Mikasa giggled ‘you’re really coooool Annie’

‘I knowww’

‘You’re so soft and so warm and so kind and so hot, your boobs look great in that top and your hairrr it looks amazing down’ Mikasa said grabbing her blonde strands

‘Hmm well I think that red dress is hot on you, you are soooo pretty Mikasa, you have a nice body you should show it off more’

Annie moved her head and looked into Mikasa’s eyes as a thick blush painted Mikasa’s cheeks

‘Hey Mikasa’

‘Yeahhh’

‘Have you ever kissed a girl before’ Annie whispered

‘No’

‘Do you want to?’

‘Yes.’

Annie moved in a pressed her lips against Mikasa’s and cupped her cheeks after 5 seconds she pulled away

‘Annieee you’re an amazing kisser’

‘Right back at you Ackerman’

‘Soooo about that hotel room’ Mikasa grinned

***

Mikasa smiled at the memories and walked off, she’ll always treasure her memories with Annie but she was with Eren now.

He’d finally chose her.


	5. Mistakes.

Annie Leonhart was in the gym doing some intense training, boxing was her escape, why hadn’t she been doing it more? She lived for the adrenaline rush and it gave her the feeling of control over her life, the things she couldn’t control. She threw some hard punches at the bag as sweat trickled down her exposed muscles, she had been going at this for over an hour now, she had so many underlying frustrations she needed to let out and this was the perfect way to do it

‘Wow you look amazing, like seriously you’re so hot’ it was Hitch, they had decided to go on a gym date together but they hadn’t spent that much of it together since they both had different ideas of exercise. Annie remembered how she used to have gym dates with Mikasa all the time, they would always spar together, help each other become better, she hasn’t had anyone to train with in a while.

‘Do you want a go?’ Annie asked while offering her gloves and wiping the sweat off her forehead with a towel

‘Nah I’m more a slightly break a sweat on the treadmill and sit around looking pretty kinda gal’ 

‘And you do an amazing job at that’ Annie chucked and sat down next to Hitch ‘I would give you a kiss right now but I’m literally 70% sweat’

‘While affection from you is always appreciated, thanks for that’

They sat together having a drink of water and resting from their heavy exercise.

‘I don’t know if this is overstepping my boundaries as your new partner, but how’s things with Mikasa your ex?’ Hitch shyly asked

‘Eh we’ve reconnected for old times sake, I had lunch with her yesterday but its kinda awkward, I thought it would be harder than it was but you know what, I think its possible for us to be friends again, if that’s okay with you of course?’

‘We’re not children Annie, I’m friends with so many of my ex’s, I don’t have a problem if you don’t have a problem, I trust you’

‘Thanks Hitch, you’re the best’

‘Hey Annie lets take a photo, you know I’ve got to keep up my insta appearances, also you look cute, I want to remember this’

Hitch held her phone up and they took a photo together, Hitch showed Annie the photo for approval

‘It looks okay, I kinda look like shit though but I can also post that on my feed, its been a little dry lately’

‘Sure but only if you stop being self deprecating, you look gorgeous, anyone one could look at that photo and be be extremely jealous that I bagged the goddess that is Annie Leonhart’

Annie blushed hard and started putting her boxing gloves back on

‘Im going to do another set, you going to do anything?’ Annie asked Hitch

’Nah I think I’ll just watch you’ she winked ‘are we still going out to the bar after this?’

‘Yeah, we can go back to mine, have a shower, get changed and then we can go out okay?’

‘I can’t wait’ Hitch giggled as Annie gave her a slight kiss on the cheek before turning towards the punching bag

***

Mikasa lay with Eren on her couch, instead of going someplace nice they had decided to stay in and buy takeout to celebrate moving in together. She rested herself down in Eren’s arms, they were surrounded by empty takeout boxes as the TV played in the background. Eren started stroking Mikasa’s hair.

‘So what did you get up to yesterday when I was away hm?’ Eren asked calmly

‘I went to the restaurant that we were meant to go together’ Mikasa said responding to his touch ‘I wasn’t able to cancel the reservation’

‘Aw babe, I feel so bad now, I don’t want to think of you alone in the restaurant looking sad while I was off with work commitments’

‘I wasn’t alone, Annie joined me.’

‘Oh, so you’re friends with _her_ again’ Eren said vemon leaking through his voice

‘You don’t sound too happy about that’ Mikasa said looking up at him

‘You know I don’t like her Mikasa’

‘I can never understand why you two can’t just get along’

‘She’s a bad influence on you, I remember a year before she fucked off to the army, she completely changed you’

‘How so?’

‘When you two became closer friends you started acting differently, you kept ignoring my texts, talking to me less, you seemed colder towards me, it wasn’t like you at all’

‘I was just having fun with her, she made me realise my worth’

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

’She made me realise I didn’t need to be chasing you around, that I deserved better, I mean at that time you were with a new girl every night Eren, I wasn’t even on your mind, I needed to move on’ 

‘Im not like that anymore Mikasa, you know that’ Eren sighed ‘you were always meant to be my endgame, I just wanted to experiment a bit before I settled down with you’

‘I know, I know’

‘Im worried she’ll take you away from me, I mean she doesn’t think highly of me at all’

‘Im sure if you just gave her a chance she will, I mean she knew you when you were kinda an ass, I’m sure she’ll love the new and improved you, you’ve changed, you’re not the same person you used to be’

‘I just don’t trust her Mikasa’

They sat together in silence, both glued to their phones. Mikasa scrolled through her Instagram feed, hoping to pass the time, Annie had posted. It was a gym photo of her and who she assumed was Hitch, Mikasa felt a pang of jealousy, it felt like Hitch has taken her place, her and Annie used to be gym partners. But Hitch looked so different to Mikasa in so many ways, she looked glowing, a naturally happy and optimistic girl, she was very pretty, so pretty it almost made Mikasa feel kind of insecure. Okay she felt extremely insecure, Hitch seemed so pretty, so kind, so exciting, a lot of things Mikasa wasn’t but she didn’t have to worry, right? she had a boyfriend who loved her, who Annie was with was none of her concern, they were just friends.

‘Who’s she?’ Eren asked looking at Mikasa’s phone

‘Hitch, she’s Annies new girlfriend’ Mikasa replied unable to hide some of her jealousy in her voice

‘Hm that’s weird’

‘What?’

‘I didn’t know Annie was a gay’ Eren half laughed ‘you didn’t do anything weird with her did you, don’t really want to be dating an ex les’

’Nah don’t worry about it’ Mikasa lied ‘me and Annie were just friends, I didn’t even know she was like that until recently’

‘I think its weird, I mean at least we probably know why she was so attached to you’

‘Eren it really wasn’t like that, we thought of each other as friends, that’s it’

‘Yeah yeah I believe you’ he said twisting Mikasas hair ‘you’re beautiful Mikasa’

‘Thanks’ she said coldly, the conversation they just had shook her more than she'd care to admit, she hated lying about Annie

‘Come on Mikasa don’t be like that’ he groaned pulling her closer ‘come here’

Her grabbed the back of her neck and started kissing her, it was rough and she could feel his stubble scratching her chin, she quickly pulled away from him

‘Eren you’re kissing differently’ she observed 

‘Am I?’ he said, distracted with her body ‘that’s weird’

He quickly pulled her back into his lips, throwing himself on top of her, she started to feel ill

‘So uh Mikasa how about we take this back to the bedroom’ he asked

’No Eren I’m not in the mood today’ she replied pushing him off of her

‘Geez Mikasa why are you so pissy today’

‘Its got nothing to do with me being pissy, I just am not feeling up to it, I am allowed to say no’

‘But you never say no’ Eren huffed ‘I told you Annie changes you’

‘This has nothing to do with Annie’

‘you’ve been all moody since she got back’

‘Oh so you’re talking about me being moody now? You’ve been completely distant for months, are you going to find a way to blame that on Annie aswell?

‘I have been busy Mikasa, I literally found out months ago I had a secret half brother and work has been pushing me to my limits, you cannot put this on me, not everything is my fault, I have been feeling dead recently and all I want is my girlfriend to be there for me’

‘I have been there for you Eren it just feels like you’ve been shutting me out’

‘NO YOU HAVEN’T MIKASA’ he screamed ‘every single second you spend concerned for Annie, its always Annie this, Annie that’

’Me and Annie have a close connection, of course I’m going to be concerned about her, she’s my friend’

‘I just don’t get it Mikasa, you have wanted me your whole life and now suddenly I’m not good enough for you’

‘Just because I reject you once doesn’t mean I don’t want you’

‘Its clear Annie being back has fucked you up’ he sighed ‘is that what you are then Mikasa?’

‘What are you on about?’

‘Are you gay? is that why you don’t want me? Have you been fucking Annie behind my back’

‘Eren you are mental’ she said, her voice getting angrier as she moved up from the couch

‘Ah I see why you’ve been pissy, its because Annie has a new girlfriend, you’re not her number one anymore, been demoted to side bitch have you?’

‘SHUT UP EREN’ she screamed finally losing her patience ‘MAYBE I DONT WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU BECAUSE YOU HAVE BEEN INSUFFERABLE LATELY’

‘Oh so its all about you now Mikasa, I am so fucking sick of you acting like a victim’

‘I don’t care what you think Eren, can’t you see I am having a shit time as well?’

’I am not dumb Mikasa, I am sick of you being here and just lying to my face, you clearly had feelings for her’

‘I did not Eren, I love you’

’Next time you say that be more convincing because I don’t want my girlfriend to be a fucking queer’

‘Im leaving’ Mikasa said tears in her eyes ‘I’ll stay at Armin’s tonight’

She ran out the door and shut it behind her but there was no point because she knew Eren wouldn’t follow her, he didn’t care enough. She chocked on her tears as the fresh air hit her face, she didn’t want to go and see Armin yet, she couldn’t bare answering his questions, she wanted to be alone.

She doesn’t know what’s got herself here. She stood outside the old bar her and Annie used to go to, she didn’t still have feelings for her, Eren was just wrong and emotional, he was going through a tough time after all but she couldn’t shake the deep down resentment.

Mikasa walked into the bar, it was a busy night, it was filled with people dancing and laughing, the lights flashing everywhere, she didn’t want to get involved with that so she made her way over to the bar and ordered a drink. She sat there sipping her drink wallowing in her sorrows, where were her and Eren going to go from here, they had to make up right?

‘Odd to see you here Ackerman’

It was Annie. She sat down next to her lighting up a cigarette. The lights of the bar illuminating Annies skin, the way it always used to, she looked attractive in her jeans, they hugged all the right places that Mikasa couldn't help but glare

‘Drinking alone is very unlike you, where’s Eren?’ Annie asked looking around expecting to see him there with her

‘Not here’ Mikasa replied bluntly taking a long sip of her drink

‘You don’t sound too pleased about that’

‘We had an argument’

‘Oh I’m sorry to hear that’ Annie sighed ‘I guess that’s Eren for you though’

‘Yeah he’s an ass’

‘Hm its brought you full circle back here huh?’ Annie chuckled taking another puff of her cigarette ‘fuck him anyway, I’ve always said you deserve so much better’

Mikasa looked up at Annie a blush forming on her cheeks. It was Annie. It always has been Annie. Fuck Eren, she hadn’t loved him since that night in the hotel room, the night where she felt Annies soft skin and ran her hands through her platinum blond hair. She loved her. No wonder she couldn’t stop thinking of her since she got back, Eren was always just a distraction. Annie was the one she wanted, the one she wanted to spend the rest of her life with, Annie was the only person who ever made her feel like she was worth something, worth more than the world gave her. Fuck she was so in love and she didn’t even realise it, all she wanted to do was grab her right there and tell her how she felt, all she wanted was for Annie to say it back to her and for them to be happy together, the way it used to be.

‘Annie I have something to tell you’ Mikasa spluttered out with a long breath

‘Yeah?’

‘Hey, I’m back what’s up?’

Fuck. She’d forgotten about Hitch. Mikasa could swear she felt her heart audibly shatter

‘Ah Mikasa, this is my girlfriend, Hitch I don’t think you’ve met before’ Annie said smiling as she interlocked her hand with Hitches

‘Im Mikasa’ she managed to get out as she shook her hand, god what on earth was she still doing here? She thought fighting back tears.

‘Its so great to finally meet you Mikasa’ Hitch squealed ‘do you want to come dance with us?’

‘No you go ahead’ Mikasa fake smiled as Hitch dragged Annie out of her seat

‘Maybe another time then, we should all meet up one day, when you’re feeling up to it of course’ Hitch stated

‘’I think that would be fun’ she nearly threw up in her mouth, that sounded like the opposite of fun.

‘Oh uh Mikasa before I go, you said you had something to tell me?’ Annie asked

‘Uh no don’t worry about it I forgot, its probably stupid anyways’

‘Oh um okay then, I guess call me if you remember, see you around then Ackerman’

Hitch and Annie then disappeared into the lively crowd, leaving Mikasa alone at the bar. Mikasa got another drink or two. She was too late. God she was so dumb, if she only had realised this earlier, Annie could be hers but she let her slip through her fingers once again why was she so god damn stubborn? why didn't she run to Annie as soon as she heard she had got back? because she was an oblivious idiot she thought, she was the barrier between her and happiness. Hitch seemed like a nice girl, Annie deserved that, she was happy for her, or she tried to be. Annie had moved on because she had, this was only her karma, if only she hadn't been a coward and went for what she deep down really wanted.

Mikasa had lost count of how much she had to drink, she scanned her eyes around the room, it was emptier than earlier. She saw Hitch and Annie leaning together against a wall in the far corner, Hitch had her arms around Annies waist as they giggled between kisses, that should be her up there feeling Annies soft lips, it should be her laughing at Annie’s objectifying remarks about her body. Not Hitch. Mikasa watched as Hitch pulled Annie into the restroom, she swore she saw Annie give her a small glance, as if to brag. She couldn’t be here anymore she thought as she downed the rest of her drink, not with her imagination running rampant. 

'oh hitch, you're so much better than Mikasa' she could imagine Annie moaning 'did you see how pathetic she looked out there she was basically begging for me' Mikasa could imagine their cruel laughs and back handed remarks, She knew she had to leave, back to where she belonged, where her place was.

Fuck Annie Leonhart.

***

Mikasa stumbled back into her apartment, the alcohol has got to her head

‘Who’s here’ she heard Eren shout

‘E-eren’ she slurred

‘Mikasa what are you doing back here’ Eren said still sounding bitter ‘you’re drunk’

‘Eren I’m so sorry’ she sobbed falling into his chest and throwing her arms around his neck ‘I’m so so so so sorry’

‘Mikasa-‘

‘I’ll block her Eren, whatever you want, I’ll never talk to Annie Leonhart again, whatever will make you happy, I want us to work this out’

‘Im glad you want that for us’

‘I hate her Eren, I hate her so much’

‘Its okay Mikasa, I’m here now’ he said kissing her neck

‘Eren I need you, please, lets go to our bedroom’

‘Mikasa but you’re drunk’

‘I don’t care, I don’t care’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh hi, thank you so much for over 500 hits and 50 kudos that really means so so so much to me, it feels insane that even 10 people want to read my works, I really do hope you are enjoying it so far because I've enjoyed every second of writing it <3


	6. Come what may

Mikasa woke up on a regular morning next to Eren, she slipped on Eren’s jumper and made her way to the kitchen, she turned on the stove and threw in some bacon. She’d been making breakfast for Eren every morning since their argument, she needs to prove that she cares and she needs to be the perfect girlfriend, she’d fucked up and needed to make it better.

It had been a week since their argument, a week since she had seen Annie. She sighed as she cracked an egg over the pan, it was hard to ignore Annie, she’d been texting her non stop, confused on why Mikasa wasn’t replying, Mikasa just needed to bite the bullet and cut her off, Annie was just an unexpected side plot in hers and Eren’s story. While the food was sizzling away in the background she went through her unread messages

**Annie:** hey Mikasa, hope things are ok with Eren but I was wondering if you wanted to come to the gym with me today, I haven’t had someone to practice with for ages

**Annie:** hello? Mikasa are you okay?

**Annie:** I’m started to get a bit worried its been days and you still haven’t replied??

**Annie:** whatever. I’m sure you have a good reason, just get back to me sometime okay?

**Mikasa:** don’t text me again.

A weight had lifted off Mikasa’s chest as she typed out and sent the message, Annie now knew that her and Mikasa were over. Time to end that unpleasant chapter of her life. She went back to flip the bacon and felt Eren’s arms wrap around her waist with his head rested on her shoulder.

‘Morning Eren’ she chuckled

‘You don’t have to do this every morning Mikasa’

‘I know but I want to’ she said giving him a quick kiss ‘go sit down, ill bring it to when its done’

‘Uh can I take it to go please? Im kind of busy today, need to get to work early’

‘Sure yeah fine, I’ll wrap it up for you but you need to be back by tonight, its our movie night remember?’

‘Yes of course babe, I’ll try and be back, what movie are we watching?’

‘Moulin rouge’ Mikasa smiled

‘Huh I don’t think I’ve heard of it, I’ll look forward to it though’ 

‘I’m buying popcorn so you better be’

‘Anyways babe I need to go now, thanks for the food’ he said giving her a quick kiss on her cheek ‘you look good in my hoodie by the way’

Mikasa blushed at his comment

She was happy, she was happy , _she was happy_

***  
Annie sat at Hitch’s table, they’d spent the night together last night, Annie has been spending a lot of time at Hitch’s small loft apartment lately, it was on a better side of town and it gave her rest from her sick smelling run down place. 

‘Ive got us drinks’ Hitch chimed as she sat down opposite Annie ‘your tea might tase a bit weird I ran out of sugar’

‘Its cool, I’m not too keen on sugar anyway’ Annie stated, obviously lying to spare her feeling

‘Oh thank god, I was worried to give you dodgy tea’

‘Can I smoke in here?’

‘Uh no, sorry, I really think you need to cut that habit Annie’

‘I know I know’ Annie groaned ‘I’ve actually been smoking less since I met you, see you make me better’

‘Oh that makes me happy’ Hitch blushed ‘but let me kiss you before you go out, I hate kissing you with smoke breath’

Annie made her way over to Hitch and kissed her small lips

‘You’re cute’ Annie chuckled 

‘Are you okay now Annie?’ Hitch asked rubbing her arm worriedly

‘What do you mean?’

‘You seemed a little shook by Mikasas text earlier’

‘Yeah its still bothering me if I’m honest’ Annie sighed ‘I’m just so angry that after A week of me trying to get through to her she tells me not to contact her anymore, I didn’t even get an explanation after everything we’ve been through’

‘Did you try and text her back?’

‘Yes I did, I’ve been blocked’

‘it’s sad but you can’t try with someone who doesn’t want you in their life, you’re amazing Annie its sad she doesn’t realise that’

‘Thanks hitch’ she breathed ‘I have you anyway, you’re all I need’

’You too’

‘Im going to just go outside for a bit, I’ll go to the shop it pick up some snacks and sugar for us okay’

‘Oh yes thanks so much Annie, can you get me some of those strawberry gummys, I have been hooked ever since you introduced me to them’

‘Sure’ Annie laughed as she left the apartment

She walked down the street as she lit up her cigarette, Mikasas text has bothered her more than she’d admit to Hitch. After everything Mikasa suddenly didn’t want her friendship anymore. It angered her, while also ripping her heart to shreds. She wanted nothing more than Mikasa in her life as her friend, they’d been through everything together and suddenly it was over with no explanation, Annie didn’t believe it

Annie saw the look in Mikasas eyes at the bar, she knew exactly what Mikasa was thinking, Annie was dumb to even imagine Mikasa would say what she was thought, she felt terrible that she was willing to drop everything because she felt the same, she was willing to try everything and return those feelings. But not anymore she loved Hitch, she was glad Mikasa didn’t fuck that up, what she and Hitch had was real nothing like the nostalgia and idealised version of Mikasa that rotted her brain constantly.

She entered the small shop that was near Hitch’s apartment. She scanned the aisles and picked up sugar and Hitch’s gummys. She dragged herself over to the counter and brought the stuff, she didn’t want to hang around and make conversation with anyone, she just wanted to get home to Hitch. As she walked to the door her eyes wandered to the food isle.

Mikasa.

Annie felt her blood boil, god why now, someone must have had it out for her because this was some serious bad karma. She made her way over to her, she needed an explanation, its what Mikasa owed to her.

‘Mikasa’ Annie said loudly

‘Hm I wonder what popcorn flavour Eren would like best’ Mikasa muttered under her breathe completely airing Annie

‘Ah so you’re with Eren again, gone crawling back to him like some sad lost kitten, because that’s how you feel isn’t it, lost’

‘What to you want Annie?’ Mikasa stated angrily

‘I want an explanation, I think you owe it to me after everything’

‘I don’t owe you shit Annie, I’m trying to get on with my life, make better choices and that starts without you’

‘Ah and Eren is a healthy choice is he huh?’ Annie laughed mockingly

‘Now Annie can you please leave as I pick out popcorn for mine and Eren’s movie night’

‘What movie are you watching, some dumb shit about trucks and guns?’

‘Moulin rouge’

Annie let out a loud laugh 

‘You’re joking me right? You’re trying to be funny’ Annie choked

‘No I’m not’ Mikasa replied coldly

‘Remember when we watched moulin rouge together? I bet you can’t forget that Mikasa’ Annie moved closer to the black haired woman ‘remember the way you looked at me, you won’t be able to make it through come what may with him, you’ll be a mess when it starts playing, it was our song, remember?’

‘It holds no meaning to me anymore’

‘Keep lying to yourself Mikasa, I know how you feel about me, you can keep trying to convince yourself you love Eren but I know the truth, I can read you like a book’

‘Fuck off Annie’

‘You know its true because Eren could never love you like I did, he could never kiss you like I did, he could never touch you like I did, he could never appreciate you like I did’ Annie whispered in Mikasa’s ear

‘If you’re trying to get under my skin here Annie its not working, we’re over and you’re a terrible person for even coming here and saying all these things, you have a girlfriend’

‘And who’s fault it that?’ Annie rhetorically asked as she walked away leaving Mikasa looking empty in the popcorn section 

‘Oh and by the way, I think Eren would like the Carmel popcorn best’ Annie said far enough away for Mikasa not able to see the tears forming in her eyes.

***  
Mikasa lay on the couch in Eren’s strong arms, the movie playing as they watched in silence. Annie was right they used to love this movie which is exactly why Mikasa picked it out, she was over Annie she needed to prove it to herself. Annies appearance earlier had shook her, whenever Mikasa was happy Annie appeared and had to fuck everything up. 

The familiar pictures appeared on the TV, the scenes she loved so much. the tune started playing on the screen and Mikasa felt her brain melt at the song that played

_seasons may change_

_winter to spring_

_but I love you_

_til’ my dying day_

_come what may_

It was their song. The song that always gave Annie that lovestruck look that made Mikasa melt.

‘Come what may Ackerman’ she would always say, Mikasa would always call her cringy and corny. You don’t appreciate the cringy things until they are gone

‘Mikasa are you crying’ Eren said coldly

Mikasa felt her face, she didn’t notice the tears that were streaming down her cheeks

‘Uh yeah of course I am its a sad movie’ she lied

‘No its not, its so predictable, I mean why would she fall in love with the basic writer over the rich duke, I don’t understand’

‘Because she’s fallen in love, he’s the one she loves, the moral of the movie is all about how money or fame isn’t important when it comes to love, its about how little time we have left on earth, we should be with whoever makes us happy’

‘Whatever this movie is boring’ he droned

‘I can turn it off if you want’ Mikasa sighed

‘Yeah I’m going to bed, join me?’

‘Of course Eren, I’ll be there soon’

She lay alone on the couch, knowing she’d eventually have to join Eren.

That night no matter what Eren did, no matter how hard he tried, she couldn’t stop thinking of Annie. She stared up at the ceiling as Eren loudly snored feeling unsatisfied and gross, her mind running wild with broken promises and ruined feeling about Annie.

***   
Annie sat on her bed late at night, the laptop screen lighting up the dark room her earphones glued in her ears. Moulin rouge played on the screen, Annie felt a sense of nostalgia as the familiar songs lit up her ears.

‘Come what may huh, I guess not then Mikasa’

Annie ripped her eyes from the screen as her phone lit up from a new message 

**Hitch:** u up?

**Annie:** yh

**Hitch:** can I come over?

**Annie:** yh I guess

**Hitch:** see u in half an hour ;)

Annie sighed and shut her screen down, who gives a fuck about Mikasa and moulin rouge, come what may my ass.

***  
Mikasa sat in the park eating her lunch, she admired all the green and flowers around her while talking to her best friend Armin. She hadn’t seen him for a while and he was a breath of fresh air, she truly missed him

‘I hate seeing all the people here try to feed the squirrels’ Armin complained ‘it can be dangerous for both parties and could seriously get the natural wildlife hurt’

‘You’re very passionate about squirrels Armin’ Mikasa said taking a bite of her sandwich

‘I mean we’re really careful giving strange children food because of allergies so why do people feed random squirrels a pack of salty chips?’

‘I really don’t know Armin’

‘How’s things with Eren?’ Armin asked ‘I’m kinda disappointed he didn’t join us today’

‘Same but he’s been very busy lately, can’t blame him’

‘You don’t sound too happy about it’

‘Im not, he’s been distant lately and I’m worried he’s overworking himself’

‘Hes lucky to have someone like you Mikasa, I wish I did’

‘Given up on Annie?’ Mikasa asked voice filled with hints of spite

‘Yeah, I heard she’s got a girlfriend now’ Armin sighed ‘I was dumb’

‘Don’t worry Armin we’ve all been a victim to Annie’s games’

‘I don’t think she’s a bad person, I just think she’s a little confused and ha aren’t we all?’

‘I guess’

‘I heard you’re not talking to her anymore’ Armin stated distantly

‘Yeah’

‘Let her be happy Mikasa’

Mikasa looked up at Armin in shock and her face turned sad

‘I know I should, but I can’t, I hate to see her happy without me’

‘Look no one knows what actually happened with you and her but I think you should stop villianising her and move on, Mikasa you’re with Eren, you can’t give away a gift and expect to get it back’

‘So its my fault’

‘Its no ones fault, emotions are just complicated, it will get easier I promise’

‘Thanks Armin’ Mikasa said giving him a hug ‘you’re amazing’

‘I try, now I am sorry to leave you so early but I have volunteer work at the local dog shelter’

‘Its fine Armin, I’ll just go back home, thanks for spending time with me today’

‘Anytime Mikasa, anytime’

Mikasa walked through the park, her black bangs falling over her face, this was one of the only places in the city that hadn’t been plagued by Annie. The leaves fell from the trees and Mikasa stepped on them as they fell, nature really was beautiful, Armin was always going on about protecting nature and on days like this she could see why.

But Armin was right, she needed to let Annie be happy, she needed to find the perfect balance between completely ignoring Annie while being there for her. She needed to let her go instead of yo-yoing between wanting her and wanting Eren, thinking of Eren she needed to be more devoted and dedicated to him, she felt like she’d been terrible to him ever since Annie got back, she wanted them to go back to how they were before she got back, when they were fully together and full of love.

Mikasa walked up to her apartment door, she held roses in her hands, she was going to surprise him when he got home from work with flowers and home cooked spaghetti, one of his favourites.

She opened the door and she saw his work boots were still by there, huh that’s weird, she thought, maybe he picked some other shoes today. Mikasa walked through the living room placing her shopping on the coffee table, still holding the roses. Mikasa could swear she heard murmured voices from the bedroom, she had to be going crazy. Slowly she made her way over to her bedroom and slowly opened the door to see if she was insane

Her heart sunk to her feet, the roses fell out of her hands, in the bed was Eren, another girl laying on his bare chest, she was pretty and blonde, the definition of Eren’s old type

‘What the fuck’ Mikasa angrily whispered, she could barely push out any words, she just felt destroyed

‘M-mikasa wait I can explain’ Eren stuttered

‘I don’t want to hear it Eren’ she said coldly ‘I’m leaving’

‘Mikasa wait-‘ he shouted as Mikasa ran out the door and slammed it in his face

She ran out into the cold air, what had happened finally hitting her, she was stopped with rolling tears, she could barely breathe, where was she supposed to go from here? She was meant to be spending the rest of her life with him, she could usually excuse his shitty behaviour but this? This was it for them, at least she finally had an explanation to why he was so distanced. She felt so stupid and delusion for thinking Eren was finally ready to settle down, delusional for thinking one day she might be number one in his heart.

Mikasa didn’t know what to do, she felt her feet were moving without even thinking, before she knew it she was stood outside of Annie Leonhart’s apartment.

She loudly knocked on the door, she was visibly upset and looked like a mess, but she needed to see Annie.

Annie opened the door and looked shocked to see her there

‘Mikasa?’

‘Annie’ Mikasa breathed

‘What are you doing here? You look awful’

‘Annie I love you’

‘Wh-‘

‘Annie I fucking love you, I am sick and tired of lying to myself, I miss you so much, you’re the one i want to spend the rest of my life with, I can’t live without you anymore, please please be mine’

‘Mikasa..’

Mikasa pressed her lips up against Annies, she felt more like herself than she has in ages, she felt at home and comfortable, she forgot all about Eren and what he had done, all that mattered in this moment was Annie and her soft lips, Mikasa could taste her chapstick and feel her smooth skin, this was what she needed

‘Mikasa please’ Annie sighed

‘What?’

‘I-i love you Mikasa’ Annie stuttered between kisses ‘I need you’

***  
Mikasa sat in Annies bed, her white covers covering her chest, Mikasa held the covers ands scrunched her face in happiness, next to her sat Annie who was smoking and looking out of the window.

‘Thank you’ Mikasa breathed out

‘For what’ Annie smiled

‘For everything’

‘We probably need to talk about this because the lines are very blurry and I don’t want to mess this up again’

‘Yeah but can we just bask in the moment for a second’ Mikasa laughed in a loved up haze resting her head on Annies shoulder as she took another puff of her smoke ‘I’m sorry about Hitch by the way’

‘Hitch’ Annie froze

‘Yeah, I mean I haven’t heard anything about it but I have assumed that you two broke up recently’

‘Fuck, fuck fuck fuck’ Annie cursed as she jumped out of bed

‘What?’

‘I am such a bitch I am a terrible person’ Annie cried out

‘What? No you’re not?’

‘Mikasa, I’m still with Hitch, she’s still my girlfriend’

‘Oh’

‘I can’t believe this, I was happy with a girl who really loves me and I have gone and fucked it up by fucking my fucking ex’

‘Is that what I am to you Annie?’ Mikasa whispered sadly

‘Mikasa this isn’t about you’

‘Then what’s it about? Was this just another hookup to you? I care about you Annie’

‘Why are you even here Mikasa?’ Annie sighed looking stressed ‘why are you here when you’ve spent the last week acting like you hate me then you waltz on over here to confess your love even though I have a fucking girlfriend’

‘Hey don’t act like I fucking cheated on Hitch, that was all you’ Mikasa raised her voice, starting to feel more angry at Annie

‘What about Eren huh? The man you constantly ditch me for?’

‘He cheated on me’

‘Ohhhh I get it now, he’s with some other girl so I’m your second choice because you can’t go one second without affection and feeling like everything’s about you, it sucks knowing that I’m always your second choice Mikasa’

‘That’s not true and you know its not’

‘Well it seems like it, you only want me when Eren is busy, or not interested, it has me feeling amazing knowing how much you clearly want me’

‘I am not forcing you to be with me Annie, everything you have done has been by your own will’

‘BECAUSE I LOVE YOU MIKASA’ Annie shouted ‘you seem to have this force on me that keeps me hooked on you, its like a drug, no matter how much I try to get on with my life and try to move on you’re always there’

‘Annie-‘

‘You don’t get it, I’d jump off a cliff for you, but you clearly won’t do the same, I’m just a placeholder in your bed for Eren, I want someone who will be able to love me as much as I love them and Hitch did that for me but you were always there, always there to remind me of my looming feelings so I could never move on’

‘Annie please let me talk’ Mikasa cried ‘I love you Annie I never lied about that, Eren became a placeholder for you when you left, I have missed you so much Annie , I truly want you and only you’

‘Mikasa we both have shit to sort out, so the reason why we just don’t work is because we keep trying to get involved with each others shit without sorting out our own, I don’t know if we’ll ever be able to do this’

‘Annie please I know we can try and make this work’ Mikasa sobbed loudly

‘Mikasa no, please don’t cry like that, you’ll make me try to excuse everything I did’ Annie said tears forming in her eyes ‘we’ll have to sort this out later, I need to fix things with Hitch’

‘Fix things?’

‘Ha I’m delusional to think I could fix it, no I meant to say tell her and burn her feelings to the ground, what have I done? I am a shit person’

‘I am so sorry Annie’

‘Like you said its not your fault, partly yes but I agreed to it as much as you did without a thought of Hitch in my head, it really does show how badly I treated her’

Annie threw on some clothes and got ready to leave, leaving Mikasa exposed and crying in her bed

‘Mikasa we will need to talk about this, but I want you to do something about Eren first’ Annie ordered

‘Huh?’

‘If I come back to you ready to explore our relationship together, I don’t want to come back to find out you’re back with him and I was just a short lived rebound, if you do decide to get back with him, I want you to make that clear to me’

‘No Annie, me and him are done, I promise’

‘I believe it when I see it’

‘Annie?’ 

‘Yeah?’

‘Good luck with Hitch’

‘Thanks I don’t deserve it but I need it’

Annie walked out of the room through her broken down apartment, she wasn’t ready to talk to Hitch but she knew she had to.

What the fuck had she done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy valentines day <3 if you feel sad about being lonely on this day just remember there's a new aot episode coming out today! :)


	7. Goodbye for now

Annie stood outside Hitch’s apartment, trying to get the courage to talk to her, she let in a heavy breath and knocked on the door quietly. Hitch opened the door with her same usual bright smile

She really didn’t deserve this.

‘Hey Annie! I didn’t know you were coming over’ Hitch grinned her face slightly dropped when she saw Annies tired worried look ‘are you okay? You look terrible’

‘Yeah, um Hitch can I come in? I need to talk to you’ Annie said seriously

‘Oh sure, I’ll just get us some drinks’ Hitch said picking up on Annies tone looking concerned

Annie went and sat down on Hitch’s couch fiddling her fingers with guilt, how on earth was she going to tell her this? Hitch was such a good girl, perfect in many ways but Annie had to go fuck that up but it was unfair to keep dragging Hitch along when she couldn’t fully commit because she was still utterly in love with her ex, god she’s a terrible girlfriend

‘So I got us some tea’ Hitch half smiled ‘so what’s up’

Annie took a long sip of her tea and put it down, thinking of a million ways to tell Hitch in her head

‘Annie you know you can talk to me right?I’m here for you’ She said grabbing Annies hand

Annie immediately withdrew her hand, avoiding all eye contact

‘Hitch there’s no easy way to tell you this’ Annie gulped ‘last night, Mikasa came to my apartment, she was distraught and emotional, I-i just-‘

‘I get it’ Hitch spat out putting her head in her hands ‘god I’m so dumb’

‘No Hitch, its not your fault’ Annie sighed as she watched tears run down Hitches face

‘Did you love her Annie?’ Hitch cried ‘was I just a rebound?’

‘I never stopped loving her’ Annie admitted feeling awful ‘I’m sorry Hitch, I never meant to hurt you’

‘I know but you did Annie, I really loved you’

‘I loved you too Hitch, I never lied about that’

‘But you love her more.’ 

Annie fell silent, she didn’t know what to say, what could she say, all she felt was guilt

‘You didn’t even have the heart to break up with me before going to her, I trusted you Annie, I let you stay friends with her and acted like it didn’t bother me because I didn’t want to be controlling and I knew you were hurting but i can’t believe you’d do something like this’ she sobbed

‘I didn’t do it to hurt you Hitch, it was a mistake and I wasn’t thinking straight’

‘You couldn’t even stop to think about me, I didn’t even cross you mind, it shows how much I clearly meant to you Annie’ Hitch continued her sadness being replaced by anger ‘why did you drag me along when you knew all this time you were just going to go back to her?’

‘Hey she came to me’ Annie argued ‘and I do care about you Hitch, why do you think I’m here, I feel like shit about it’

‘Yeah yeah you’re only here to satisfy your own guilt, you truly don’t give a shit and it shows, you’ve only ever cared about her Annie otherwise you would have done what you did’

‘Don’t try to tell me how I felt, you know deep down I care for you’

‘Even if you did Annie you still did what you did, you still hurt me.’

‘Im sorry’ Annie whispered meekly

‘Fuck you Annie, we’re done’ Hitch cried ‘if it wasn’t obvious before’

‘I know, I really am sorry Hitch, can we at least be friends? You know we work together’

Hitch let out a loud scoff, and rolled her eyes as she stood up

‘You’re unbelievable Annie, after all you’ve done you still want to be friends? Thats mental and you know it’

‘I care about you Hitch, I don’t want you out of my life’

‘You drove yourself out of my life the second you decided to fuck your shallow experimental confused ex girlfriend’

‘Say all the fuck you want about me but don’t drag her into this, I was the one who cheated on you’

‘I don’t get what you see in her Annie, why wasn’t I good enough?’

‘You were perfect Hitch, its just-‘

‘Just what Annie? Why wasn’t I enough for you, what does she have that I don’t? i tried my hardest to make you happy and be patient but Mikasa was always there, always there to fuck things up’

‘Hitch don’t blame her’

‘How can’t I? If she had just kept her head down with her boyfriend we would be fine, we would be happy’ Hitch half sobbed

‘BUT I WOULDNT HITCH’ Annie shouted out of frustration towards herself ‘WE WOULDN’T OF WORKED EITHER WAY’

‘BECAUSE YOU STILL LOVED HER, YOU USED ME TO FUFILL YOUR OWN LONELY NEEDS, I ONLY WARMED YOUR BED WHILE YOU WAITED FOR HER TO COME BACK’ Hitch shouted back

‘I um can’t deny that’ Annie gulped, completely ashamed of herself, with realisation of what she just said

‘Fuck you Annie, completely fuck you and your shitty straight girlfriend who won’t even give you a second glance as soon as her boyfriend lets her back in’ Hitch grunted in frustration as she grabbed a vase ‘fuck you for using me’

Hitch threw the vase across the room to where Annie was sitting, Annie wasn’t quick enough to react, she felt the vase completely shatter over her head as Hitch dropped to the floor breaking down with anger and heartbreak, Annie could feel blood dripping down her face, she felt her head in pain and winced as she felt a deep cut above her left eyebrow

‘I deserve that’ she muttered as her eyes moved to Hitch, she was completely broken, what had she done? Hitch didn’t deserve anything Annie had given to her, she wanted to make things up to her but she could tell she wasn’t in the right headspace to have a logical conversation. She made her way over to where Hitch was kneeling, and put a hand on her back as she drowned out her thoughts with loud cries.

‘Do you want me to get you a drink’ Annie asked calmly as she tried to get her attention

‘Go away Annie, I want to be alone.’ 

Annie took that as a clear warning and opportunity to get out, she wasn’t looking to be leaving Hitches apartment in a bodybag, so she quietly exited the room wiping away the excess blood, she could feel tears form in her eyes, the thought that she’d hurt Hitch was more than she could bare but seeing her destroyed sobbing on her carpet broke Annie. she did to Hitch what Eren did to Mikasa, she really wasn’t any better than that good for nothing douche bag, Mikasa clearly had a type.

Annie walked through the cold rain, she hadn’t noticed the weather had changed, she deserved this, the water ran down her face, the cut stinging with pain as the rain touched it, washing away the blood. The water hid her tears that streamed down her face as she walked home, finally she got back to her apartment, wondering if Mikasa would still be there waiting for her.

She opened her door and saw her dad sitting there on the couch with boxes of Chinese food.

‘Hey Ann, you’re home, I wonder when you would be’ he stated ‘I got us takeaway’

‘Yeah um hi dad’ Annie said distracted, peering in her room to see if Mikasa was still there. She wasn’t.

‘You’re bleeding, were you attacked?’ He asked concerned ‘because I’m disappointed if you didn’t protect yourself’

‘I deserved it’ Annie stated bluntly as she taped her wound together with surgical tape

‘Come sit down, I got you noodles’

Annie sat down on the couch next to her dad, they sat in silence watching free view, its been a while since she had spent time with her dad, she was either working or he was blackout drunk, a day like this was rare

‘Ann the reason why I got us takeaway, is because I need to talk to you’ he admitted

‘Oh’ Annie replied her face dropping ‘its not got worse has it? I know you had some checkups recently’

‘No no, don’t worry its nothing bad, in fact I have good news for once’ Annie looked up at him in surprise, just what she needed today

‘You know the guy who caused the accident, well he died’

‘Thats great dad, I guess karma took its toll’

‘Thats not all, his biggest regret on his death bed was the lives he ruined, half of his inheritance is being distributed to the families that have been affected’

‘Ah why couldn’t he have done that 2 years ago’ Annie chuckled

‘Anns I don’t think you realise how great this is, you can go to college, get a proper education’

‘No dad, you use it, go to rehab and get some help, god knows you need it’

‘Im past my expiration date Anns, my biggest regret will always be putting you in danger to help myself, I want to make things right, please this money is yours’

‘Dad we could get a better place or go on holiday for once, me getting an education really isn’t that important, I have a job’ Annie explained

‘A crappy one that pays shit and you hate it’

‘Even if I wanted to go to college, I barely have enough high school credits to get in, what would I even study?’

‘Whatever you’re passionate about, you’re always at the gym helping your friends for free, might as well get a degree and make money off it’

‘I mean-‘

‘Don’t argue with me here Anns, in fact I’ve already got you some help, I sent videos of you training to an old friend of mine, he runs a sports science degree at a university, he loves you and wants to meet you, he’s willing to let you into his course, the course is only a year long’

‘I don’t know, I want to I really to but there’s so much more you can use this money for’

‘If you don’t take this money and use it properly you know I’m just going to blow it all on booze, Annie, don’t end up like your old man, get an education and live a life you can enjoy’

‘Ok, ok, I’ll take a look at the course, thanks dad’ giving him a small smile and a hug

‘There’s an issue though, I mean its not too major, its the other side of the country’ he stated ‘I mean there’s nothing keeping you here, right?’

***

Mikasa lay on Armin Arlerts shoulder, crying her eyes out, tears ran down her face onto his shoulder as he hugged her, her black bangs wet from tears and her mouth dry from crying.

‘Don’t worry Mikasa, things will get better’ Armin comforted not sure what to say

‘I don’t know where to go from here Armin, I just feel I have no where to go, Eren cheated on me and I ruined Annies relationship’ she cried

‘Hey Annie ruined that relationship all by herself, thats not your fault and I get things are hard with Eren at the moment but you’ll make up you always do’

‘Armin he cheated on me, my biggest fear is that he’d leave me for a pretty blonde girl, who was all cute and bubbly, he promised me his playboy days were over, he completely broke my trust, I don’t want to go back to him, I deserve better than that and plus Annie said-‘

‘Mikasa are you insane?!’ Armin cut her off ‘you are in the process of getting out of a traumatic relationship and you’re ready to throw yourself into another? I don’t think thats a good idea’

‘I love her’

‘I know you do but don’t you think you need time to breathe and figure yourself out’

‘Its not like I’m marrying her, we just want to figure things out, I care about her too much to let her go’

’No ones saying you have to let her go, I just don’t think you’re ready, you and Annie have been toxic ever since she got back, what makes you think this is going to be any different’

‘Because we’re both available and willing to put in the effort’ Mikasa argued finally sitting up from Armin’s shoulder

‘First of all Mikasa, Annie hasn’t even spoken to Hitch yet, who knows how that went’ Armin calmly stated ‘and you haven’t even talked to Eren yet’

‘I don’t want to’

‘You’re going to have to Mikasa, you live with him’

‘Its difficult’

‘Come on what’s happened to the Mikasa I used to know?’ Armin half joked ‘don’t act like you can’t completely fold that asshole, you used to take no shit, what happened to that girl’

‘You’re right Armin, I feel like I’ve lost myself’

‘Okay so are you now ready to be logical because we can sort this out together you know?’ He sighed ‘First of all I have a spare room so you can move in with me, but I need proof of stable income because we will be splitting rent’

‘I am living off my parents inheritance, they’re dead remember?’

‘Of course, so we’re going to have to get you a job, it’ll help take your mind off things I promise’

‘Im going through a breakup and your first thought is to sort my life out’ Mikasa said stoically 

‘We need to start somewhere’

‘Baby steps Armin, I need to get my stuff back first and move in’

‘Okay we can do that, I’ll drive you’ Armin offered

‘Its the perfect time right now I guess, Eren usually goes to the gym now’

‘Lets go then’ Armin enthusiastically said as he jumped off the couch ‘you know I love you Mikasa and I’ll be here to support you through everything’

‘Yeah, thanks Armin’

Mikasa sat her head rested on Armin’s car window as she watched the street fly by, drowning out the slow songs that played on the radio, she felt tired and sick, she just wanted this whole nightmare to be over, part of her just wished she would wake up, she’d be next to Eren, Annie wasn’t back, he hadn’t cheated, it had all been one nasty dream she’d laugh about with her friends later as she described the details, even better she woke up next to Annie, Annie hadn’t left, the accident was just a nightmare and Annie would comfort her singing her sweet songs and making fun of her that she would ever go back to Eren. But real life didn’t work that way, Mikasa had pinched herself many times and she still hadn’t woken up, this was her reality and she had to face the consequences of other peoples actions, she had to be left heartbroken and unhappy.

She remembered the promise she’d made to her mother when she was 16, she’d always be herself and live her truest self but Mikasa was here not even knowing who she was, struggling to find an identity outside of what others perceived her. Her parents died in a car crash the next day, the Yeagers graciously took her in, her life was turned upside down. Who was she? God she wishes her mom was alive, she knew how to make her feel better with her plates of food and warm affections, she’d be great at dealing with all this drama, she always knew what to say.

‘Mikasa we’re here’ Armin chimed breaking Mikasa’s train of thought snapping her out of her melancholy day dream ‘I’ll wait in the car’ he handed her a cardboard box to carry her essentials in

She gave him a sad kind of reassurance as she walked up to hers and Erens apartment, it felt so strange as she turned the key, so much had happened in the past hours yet it felt like she had been away for weeks the apartment had such an odd nostalgic feeling, the smell of it made her feel at home yet uncomfortable.

She picked up her things from the living room, mainly just essentials and personal belongings like jewellery and decorations that used to belong to her parents. She made her way over to the bedroom the flowers she had dropped earlier still sat fresh on the floor, a reminder of how much effort she was willing to put in and how much she was willing to make things work. Not anymore.

‘Mikasa’ she turned her head and saw Eren at the door, she quickly made her way into the bedroom and started grabbing her clothes and shoving them in her box

‘Mikasa won’t you at least talk to me’ He begged

‘I don’t want to hear it Eren’ she coldly replied continuing with what she was doing

‘It was a mistake, I promise you, its was a short lapse in judgement’ 

Mikasa ignored him as she searched the room for her belongings

‘Mikasa you’re the girl I love, I realise now more than ever, you’re who I’m meant to be with’

‘Did you realise that before or after you stuck your dick in her?’ 

‘Come on Mikasa don’t be like that, I didn’t have any feelings for her, it was a one time thing’

‘Look me in the eye and tell me it was a one time thing!’ Mikasa shouted, finally snapping ‘because last time I checked you’d been distant for ages’

‘I don’t know what you expect me to do Mikasa I’ve said sorry, I am a man you know, sometimes urges happen and you can’t deny it’

’Thats not manly behaviour Eren, thats boyish behaviour, I trusted you and you have broke that trust to the point of no return’

’So you’re just going to throw away everything we have?’ 

‘You threw that away the second you decided to cheat on me!’ Mikasa exclaimed, trying to hide the tears forming in her eyes ‘now you’re free Eren, to do whoever you want’

‘So what are you going to do now Mikasa? you’ve built your life around me, we live together’

‘Im moving in with Armin’

‘I can’t believe my own best friend would do that to me’

‘He’s my best friend too Eren’

Mikasa continued to shovel things into her box, trying to get out of there as quickly as possible

‘What happened to the old Mikasa huh?’ Eren said walking closer to her ‘what happened to the Mikasa that loved me no matter what, the girl that was there for me no matter what I did’

‘Is that what you really thought of me Eren?’ Mikasa cried ‘some meek little girl that follows you everywhere? Some head over heels teenager willing to forgive you for your fatal flaws? I’m not apologising for being strong and having self respect’

’This is Annie fault’ Eren spat as Mikasa stood up heading for the door ‘if she was never in your life you wouldn’t be like this’

‘Yeah I guess this is Annie fault’ Mikasa nodded face to face with Eren ‘Annie made me love myself and realise I was so much more than I thought, she made me realise my full potential and not keep it locked away for you to feel better about yourself, she made me realise that weak little Mikasa persona that would have let you trample all over her was pathetic and that I shouldn’t hide myself for anyone nor apologise for who I am, so yeah I guess this is her fault’

’Stop being weird Mikasa, thats not like you’

‘I was in love with the idea of you Eren, I didn’t realise how much of an ass you are until now, we’re done.’

‘Mikasa wait-‘

‘I deserve so much better’ she giggled ‘earlier I came four times, which is way more than you ever made me’

‘Thats a lie girls can’t cum, I can’t believe you right now Mikasa, look at how you’re acting, are you drunk?’

‘This is goodbye Eren’ she frowned turning away

‘Wait’ he said picking up something on the mantelpiece and walking towards her ‘take this with you, to remind you of us’

He handed her a photo frame, in it was a photo of her first date with Eren, they both looked happy, holding ice cream and smiling for the photo, she sighed and remembered the time before everything went to shit. 

‘This doesn’t mean anything to me anymore’ she stated, feeling liberated, she was telling the truth. she smashed the frame on a nearby wall as Eren stared in shock ‘you don’t mean anything to me anymore’

‘I don’t know if I can live without you Mikasa, I love you’ he said tears falling out of his eyes

‘Cope.’

She left the apartment and shut the door behind her and walked back to Armin’s car, she put the box in the back and sat down next to him

‘That was hard’ she sighed, what had just happened finally hitting her

‘Im proud of you’ he half smiled ‘now let’s go home, how does pizza sound?’

Mikasa woke up the next morning in Armin’s apartment, her box still sitting at the end of her bed, she hadn’t unpacked it yet, last night after food she was so tired and just wanted to peacefully dream. It was weird living with Armin and it hadn’t even been a day yet, she missed waking up in someones arms, it was an odd sensation to wake up cold and alone after being with Eren for so long. She rolled over to her bedside table and unplugged her phone

_4 missed calls from Annie Leonhart  
8 missed calls from Eren Yeager_

Shit she had put her phone on silent last night because Eren wouldn’t stop calling her, Annie must have been worried sick

_1 new message from Annie Leonhart_

**Annie:** um hey Mikasa I don’t know why you’re ignoring my calls but you haven’t blocked my number so I’m taking this as a good sign.  
I don’t want to explain over text but please meet me at the airport, I’ll see you there

**Mikasa:** Annie?? Hello?? What’s going on I just woke up??

**Mikasa:** Annie please reply

**Mikasa:** wait for me, I’ll be there

**Mikasa:** _I love you_

Mikasa ran out of bed and threw on the first clothes that she could fish out of her box, she didn’t know what was happening but it can’t be good, she was scared and worried, why did Annie want to meet her at an airport?

She rushed out onto the cold city street, hailing a cab

‘To the airport please’ Mikasa breathed out as she sat down

Mikasa twitched in her seat, there was traffic on the highway and Annie still hadn’t replied to her messages, why did this bitch have to be so goddamn mysterious all the time, couldn’t she let her guard down for one fucking second?

After an hour of tedious worrying and anxiety Mikasa finally got to the airport and entered the lobby, she saw Annie walking to a set of escalators carrying a suitcase

‘ANNIE’ she screamed while running towards her, Annie turned around shocked and saw Mikasa running towards her, she stood still waiting for Mikasa to come to her.

‘Mikasa I thought you’d never show up’ Annie sighed with a mixture of sadness and excitement

‘What the fuck are you doing here Annie’ Mikasa said out of breath and angry 

‘Mikasa I-‘

‘You’re leaving me again aren’t you?’ tears started to form in both of their eyes ‘its just like last time, I have no explanation, no time to prepare, you’re just leaving’

‘Mikasa I’m so sorry, I couldn’t give you any notice’

‘Annie why the fuck are you doing this’ She sobbed ‘you promised me you wouldn’t leave me again’

‘Mikasa please don’t make this harder than it needs to be’ Annie half laughed with nerves as she grabbed Mikasas hand ‘my dad got some money, I’m getting a proper education, I have to start on short notice but its across the country’

‘Why does it have to be so far, why can’t you take a course in the city?!’

‘I have no high school credits Mikasa, I wasn’t clever like you, a guys letting me in as a favour to my dad’

‘Annie please reconsider, we were going to work things out and we were going to be happy, Annie please I love you’ Mikasa begged

‘Can I be honest Mikasa? This is for the best’ Annie sighed cupping Mikasa’s cheek as tears fell from both their faces ‘we both just got out of relationships, it wouldn’t have worked, emotionally we’re not in the right place to do this’

‘Annie no’

‘Mikasa I don’t want to fail at this, I love you to death, I don’t want to do this unless we’re going to do it right, I want to be the best version of myself for you’

‘And you need to be across the country to do that? You’ve barely even been back at all’

‘Its only for a year, I’ll be back for you’

‘But what if-‘

‘No what ifs Mikasa, we need to stop making promises to each other we can’t keep as a safety blanket, every time we do that we just end up heartbroken’

‘I don’t think I can live without you Annie’ Mikasa looked up ‘you were gone two years and I barely coped, I let myself settle for less than I deserved because I missed you’

’You’ll do fine, you have your friends Mikasa, don’t lose yourself because of me, I’m only a phone call away’

‘Why does this feel a lot like a breakup?’

‘Its not I promise, think of it as a holiday away from each other to ensure our future together, I don’t want to hurt you like I hurt Hitch, I don’t want to see you sobbing on the floor because I broke your heart’

‘You’re breaking my heart right now’ 

‘I know’

They stood staring into each others eyes, unsure of what to say, secretly wishing the other would ask them to stay.

‘I’ll miss you Mikasa’

‘I fucking hate you’

‘I love you too’ Annie laughed through the tears ‘my um flight leaves soon, I have got to go’

Mikasa nodded and leaned into Annie to kiss her but Annie pushed her back

‘Mikasa please don’t’ she begged as more tears poured ‘I cant kiss you, if I did I wouldn’t be able to go’

Annie turned back to the escalators

‘Annie wait!’ Mikasa shouted

Annie turned around, a hopeful look in her eyes

‘I love you Leonhart’

‘I love you too Ackerman’

Annie continued on as Mikasa watched her disappear into the crowd.

She was a fool.


	8. The second reunion

**1 year later**

Mikasa tightened her apron as she poured another drink, the day felt monotonous and it just seemed to drag on as she handed another customer their drink.

‘Mikasa come on, you haven’t taken a single break today’ Hitch sighed ‘I made us both drinks so please just come to the break room before you pass out’

‘Im fine Hitch, go by yourself’ Mikasa coldly replied as she put cream on the top of another latte

‘You’re not fine Mikasa, I beg of you to stop overworking yourself for one second and let the new employees have a go, please just come out back with me’

‘Fine. But only for a minute’

Mikasa reluctantly stopped what she was doing as Hitch dragged her to the break room by the arm, she sat opposite Hitch and took a long sip of the coffee that Hitch had prepared kindly

‘Don’t act like I don’t know what you’re doing’ Hitch said while sipping on her drink

‘What’

‘I heard Annies coming back today, weird that you’re suddenly immersing yourself in work not being able to let yourself have a single thought’

‘I thought you didn’t like to talk about Annie’

‘I don’t but since she’s coming back I need to start facing reality, I think you should aswell Mikasa’

‘I am facing reality’ Mikasa argued 

‘You don’t seem like it and I’d thought you’d be happy with her return’

‘Im not sure how to feel yet’

‘I mean you better be happy, I mean you kinda owe it to me since Annie completely fucked me over for you’ Hitch stated unable to hide the salt in her tone

‘Its more complicated than that, I’ve been trying to contact Eren lately, I want to sort things out with him before I progress with Annie’

‘I thought Eren cheated on you’

‘He did but I still care about him Hitch, we are childhood friends and he’s just completely disappeared, people can be forgiven right? I mean you’re sitting talking to me now’

’True but it was never your fault Mikasa’ Hitch sighed ‘Annie cheated on me, it was her choice and it was hard for me at first when you took Annies old job’

‘Yeah I thought you were going to kill me the second you saw me and I do regret what I did, it wasn’t fair on you’

‘It wasn’t but I’m okay now’

‘I heard you’re seeing someone’

‘Mhm this boy I’ve known for a long time, Marlo, he’s nice and I’m happy with him, I mean he doesn’t have an ex he’s hung up on’

‘Im glad you’re happy Hitch’ Mikasa half smiled 

‘I hope you will be too Mikasa, I’m sure you and Annie have something planned for when she gets back’

‘I actually um haven’t spoken to her since she left’ she shyly admitted ‘I couldn’t handle the pain of talking to her, I felt betrayed that she left me again, so I just didn’t contact her’

‘God I am so glad I’m not involved with both of you anymore because I cannot deal with whatever mental gymnastics you both keep playing at’

‘When she comes back things are going to be better’ Mikasa stated standing up ‘we’re going to be happy’

‘Whatever you say’ 

Mikasa walked out back into the café ready to get back to work, she needed a distraction, how was she going to be able to cope with Annie coming back? would they really be okay? I mean they hadn’t talked in a year, maybe this space would be a good thing, she didn’t want to fuck this up again.

After a long day she took her apron off and headed out of the shop, Hitch was long gone so Mikasa had to take the bus alone, she was grateful towards Hitch and how considerate she had been lately considering how she should despise her, Annie didn’t lie when she said she was the nicest.

Mikasa sat on the bus and watched the cars drive past, she nearly jumped as she could feel her phone go off in her pocket, was it Annie? She slowly took it out as it rung, her heart beating fast. She glanced at the flashing screen

Thank god, it was only Ymir

‘Hey girl, where are you?’ Ymir greeted

‘Huh? Im on the bus back to Armin’s apartment’ Mikasa replied

‘You could have told me that, I just went by yours and you weren’t in’

‘Why did you need to see me?’

‘I am inviting you to Annie’s coming back party, well its not much of a party more an excuse to go out drinking, we’re going to that nice bar on the west side’

‘Ymir thats a gay bar’

‘Whatttt Annie’s going to love it I swear’ Ymir laughed ‘I mean probably not last time I talked to her she said she had a girlfriend’

Mikasa could feel her heart sink, they were making the same mistakes as last time, she was dumb for being hopeful

‘So you’re doing this in the name of Annie but you’re really doing this for you?’ Mikasa joked to hide her emotions of confusion and dread

‘Basically, anyway me and Historia will be there and Sasha will be there, Annie of course, so you coming?’

‘Uh yeah I guess, when is it?’

‘About half an hour, so we’ll meet you there then?’

‘Sure’

‘Sweet, we’ll catch you there, see ya’

Ymir hung up as she let out a loud sigh, Annie had a girlfriend? She hadn’t heard anything about it, was she stupid to think Annie would wait for her, she’d been waiting all this time. She could have been out living her life but instead she caged herself in while Annie was out living her life

Hitch was right, they were doing some insane mental gymnastics.

Mikasa stepped out into the cold air as the bus came to a halt, part of her felt crushed but the other half of her was too tired to care. In any other situation she’d be on her knees sobbing but now wasn’t the time for that, Mikasa had grown in the last year, her new independence had made her reevaluate and evolve her emotions. She was more ready for Annie than ever, but it still seems she wasn’t ready for her…

Mikasa entered her apartment and saw Armin sitting on the couch reading a book, she fell down next to him and rested her head on his shoulder

‘Ymir came by’ Armin stated 

‘I know’

‘You don’t have to go tonight, you can wait to see her again, I know this must be hard for you’ 

‘I want to go Armin, I need to get it over with and if it goes badly at least I’ll be surrounded by alcohol’ 

’True, but take care of yourself okay, if you need me to pick you up I will okay’

‘Thanks Armin’ she said standing up and heading to the bedroom ‘you have fun with your book okay’

She went through her entire closet, nothing seemed good enough, if Annie did have a girlfriend, Mikasa had to make her regret it. Eventually after a long time of consideration she decided to go with a minimalistic dark red velvet dress paired with some lipstick, slowly she made her way out of the apartment and into the night, a soft breeze hitting her pale skin.

Eventually she heard the loud music coming from the side street, her ears hurt as she made her way towards the bar, her anxiety was high, unable to predict what would happen, I mean what’s supposed to happen when the woman you love comes back? Heaven you’d hope.

Mikasa stepped into the crowded bar, her eyes scanning the room for Ymir as the bright lights flashed infront of her eyes mixing with the nerves making her feel dizzy. Eventually she found the freckled brown haired girl, who was sitting in a small booth, whispering into Historia’s ear.

‘Ymir thank god I found you’ Mikasa sighed sitting down opposite them ‘I thought you’d left already’

‘Absolutely not, we’re here for the night Mikasa’ Ymir replied ‘here take this’ she handed her a fruity cocktail as she smiled at Historia 

‘Um where’s Annie and Sasha’ Mikasa looked around anxiously

‘Oh they went off to dance for a bit, Sasha had to drag Annie out there, I’m sure they’ll be back soon’ Historia laughed as Ymir wrapped her arm around her ‘Ymir stop I’m ticklish’

Mikasa sat there sipping on her drink, enduring Ymir and Historia’s blatant flirting, part of her envied their happiness but she was happy for them, they had found their person, their soulmate, something which Mikasa craved with someone she loved, someone she cared about but did her person want her? Did her person feel the same way?

She sat there for what felt like ages, stirring her straw around in the drink, she was starting to feel melancholy and low, the thick music giving her a headache, she shouldn’t have come tonight.

‘You know what Ymir, I think I’m going to leave’ Mikasa stated ‘I’m too tired for this, you guys have fun though’

She stood up and made her way out of the booth but as she tried to leave she crashed into someone, falling back into the cracked chair of the booth. She sat up dizzy as she could hear Ymirs laughter. Mikasa opened her eyes and was met with crystal blue orbs

‘M-mikasa I didn’t know you were coming tonight’ it was Annie, Mikasa was left in complete shock, her face bright red. Annie looked so different to her, she looked almost glowing her blonde locks shaped her face, her black dress and a bomber jacket that showed off her beautiful figure.

She was perfect to Mikasa

‘Can you guys stop staring and sit down, my legs hurt’ Sasha complained pushing Annie into the seat next to Mikasa

‘Oh yeah sure’ Annie said as she sat down next to Mikasa in shock

‘Jesus Christ Ymir we’ve run out of drinks already’ Sasha cried ‘I’ll go get some more’

‘No don’t’ Mikasa interrupted ‘I’ll do it’

‘Um yeah I’ll come with you’ Annie chimed in as she stood up with Mikasa, it was like they could read each others mind

They made their way over to the bar in silence, not knowing what to say to each other, Annie quickly ordered some drinks and leant against the bar as they waited

’S-so how have you been’ Mikasa stuttered

‘Ive been good, I mean you would have known that if you replied to any of my messages when I was away’ Annie coldly stated

‘Im Sorry Annie, I didn’t know how to react, I panicked’

‘It hurt but I understand, I shouldn’t have left like that’

‘It was pretty shit’ Mikasa shrugged trying to act cool

‘I missed you, if that means anything to you’

‘I missed you too’

‘I can’t believe that Ymir decided this would be an appropriate coming back celebration, I mean those male strippers aren’t to my taste’ Annie giggled ‘hey how about we get our drinks and head out, the noise is giving me a headache and I can’t stand the smell of sweat, I want to catch up with you’

‘Sure’ Mikasa smiled grabbing the drinks the bartender gave her and took them back to the table

‘Finally! What took you so long’ Sasha groaned

‘You’re lucky I even brought you a drink Sasha, you’ve had too much already’ Annie pointed out as she sat down next to Mikasa

‘Anyway, to Annies triumphant return’ Ymir toasted holding up her drink as they all took a sip, as Mikasa held up her drink she could feel another hand touch hers. She looked down and saw Annie touching her hand, a faint blush painted over her cheeks as Annie gave her a warm half smile, she had forgotten this feeling, the feeling of comfort in Annie’s touch.

After they had finished their drinks Annie and Mikasa left the bar and walked through the empty streets, the freezing air making the hairs on Mikasa’s skin stand up, she shivered as she took in a long breath.

‘Do you want my jacket?’ Annie asked noticing Mikasa’s shaking

’No, then you’ll be cold’ Mikasa replied

‘Nah I’ll be fine, I don’t feel the cold that much’ she said draping her jacket over Mikasa’s shoulders ‘there you should warm up soon’

‘I forgot you usually smoke away the cold weather’

‘I actually quit, I decided since I’m supposed to be getting my life together might as well start with everything’

‘Im proud of you Annie, you seem to be doing well for yourself’ Mikasa smiled 

‘I am, I feel like my life is finally coming together you know?’

Was it with or without her? Mikasa thought as they continued walking, she brought Annies coat closer to her face, it smelt like her, reminded her of so many long nights of them together, the times she wore Annies hoodie as she made her way down to the corner shop to get them drinks while Annie slept.

‘So um do you want something to eat?’ Annie asked ‘I mean there’s a trashy chicken shop near by’

‘Sure it sounds great’ Mikasa agreed as they walked in a small shop that had bright florescent lighting stinging Mikasa’s eyes as she entered

‘Id like a chicken burger please’ Annie asked as she stood at the counter, the bright light highlighting her best features ‘what do you want?’

‘I’ll have the same’ Mikasa replied timidly

Annie waited for both of their food as Mikasa sat down at an empty table near the window, the table was greasy as she fiddled with napkins, she wasn’t used to Annie being back yet, especially this new improved version of Annie, it felt different being with her, the time away had changed her, the same way it had with Mikasa.

‘You okay? You seem a bit off’ Annie asked as she sat down handing Mikasa her food

‘Uh yeah, this just feels weird to me, I haven’t seen you in ages’ Mikasa replied picking at her food ‘so I want to know more about your college experience, I heard you have a girlfriend’

Mikasa was dying to know.

‘Oh you heard that’ Annie looked down in shock ‘there were a few girls but nothing stuck, I just didn’t feel about them the same way I had felt in the past, thats all’

Mikasa didn’t know what to reply to that, she just buried her face into her food to avoid eye contact.

‘How about you, anyone special?’

‘No, I uh waited for you’ Mikasa admitted ‘god that sounds so embarrassing’

‘Oh’ 

‘Yeah I thought thats what we were doing, I guess I assumed wrong’

‘Don’t be like that Mikasa, why do you think all my relationships failed?’ Annie rhetorically sighed ‘I’ll never be able to feel the same about anyone the way I do about you’

‘Then what’s stopping us right now?’ Mikasa asked impatiently ‘what’s stopping us from finally getting together? I thought that would happen when you got back’

‘Mikasa’ Annie grabbed her hand as she put down her food ‘I don’t want to fuck this up okay, I want us to work and not rush into something, heck you’re the girl I want to marry, I don’t want to make any foolish mistakes’

‘You’re right, we need to take things slow’

‘Im glad you agree, now how about I walk you home?’

‘I accept your chivalrous offer’ Mikasa laughed as she stood up and lead Annie out of the shop

‘Would it be too much to ask to hold your hand?’ Mikasa blushed as they walked underneath the stars together

’I guess I can allow it’ 

Mikasa felt Annies rough hands against hers, they were cold and stiff as Mikasa melted in her touch under the glowing street lights. She could feel them approaching hers and Armins apartment, she almost wanted to turn around, just so this night didn’t finish, Annies presence gave her the air she needed to breathe, she wasn’t ready to let go just yet

‘You live here right?’ Annie asked letting go off Mikasas hand

‘Sadly’ Mikasa chuckled as she stared at Annie’s lips ‘would it be against the rules to kiss you right now?’

‘Fuck the rules’ Annie boldly stated as she cupped Mikasa’s cheek and gave her a quick light kiss

‘Hey that was barely a kiss, you planning to leave me with blue balls Leonhart?’ Mikasa complained as a smirk grew on Annies face

‘We will have all the time in the world someday Ackerman, goodnight’

Mikasa watched Annie walk away until she was out of sight, the dark night swallowing her up, she felt all warm and gooey as she walked up the steps to the apartment, she was excited and nervous to start her new journey with Annie, they weren’t going to mess up this time. They couldn’t.

She entered the apartment happily as she brushed the hair out of her face

‘Armin I had an amazing night, oh-‘ Mikasa looked up and saw Armin sitting on the couch applying ice to a large wound on a long haired disheveled mans head, he looked dead inside, utterly wrecked as blood poured down the side of his head

It was Eren.

‘Armin, what’s going on?’ She asked in shock as Eren looked up at her stoically

‘I can explain, I swear’


	9. Patching things up

‘Why is he here?’ Mikasa asked coldly as Armin continued to apply ice to Eren’s head

‘Nice to see you again too Mikasa’ he grunted

He looked like shit. It was the first time Mikasa had ever seen him look this messy and down. His hair had become long and messy, stubble peeking out his usually smooth skin, his eyes had lost the life that he once had when he was younger but Mikasa knew he lost that years ago.

‘Mikasa can you grab the first aid kit for me’ Armin softly asked as Mikasa left for the kitchen. Quickly she took the kit out from underneath the sink but she wasnt ready to go back into that room. She had wanted to contact Eren, she had been trying but suddenly seeing him sitting on her couch gave her a feeling of shock, all the feelings of heartbreak and disappointment had come rushing back to her, all those unresolved feelings flowed through her head, making her feel dizzy.

With shaking hands Mikasa poured herself a glass of water to calm herself down. Why did Eren suddenly look like he had been dragged through a war, even more so why was he bleeding?

Mikasa reluctantly walked into the next room after taking a long sip of water, she handed Armin the first aid kit and sat down on a chair opposite them.

‘So is someone going to explain what’s going on?’ Mikasa asked, not taking her eyes off of Eren

‘Eren got himself in some trouble and didn’t know who to call’ Armin sighed

‘Wouldn’t the best thing be to call an ambulance?’

‘I was going to do that but Eren was in possession of illegal drugs and a gun’

‘Eren!’ Mikasa stood up shouting in shock

‘What, you’ve got to make money when you can’ Eren shrugged ‘some one was just not happy with my prices, claimed I cut it with some dodgy stuff’

‘I thought you had a job’

‘Its complicated’

‘Mikasa, Eren’s going to be staying for us with a bit, to help him get his life back together’ Armin said wrapping the bandages tighter around Eren’s head

‘You don’t always have to be the saviour Armin’

‘I know’ he replied looking up sadly at Mikasa ‘but I miss our friendship, when we were a trio, what happened to us?’

‘Whatever’ Mikasa stated ‘I’m going to bed, goodnight Armin’

She walked into her room, airing Eren. As she got undressed she realised she was still wearing Annies jacket, she smiled as she pulled it closer to her, it still smelt like her. She had almost forgot what this feeling was like, Annie had been gone for so long but now she was back, and holding the jacket made it feel like Annie was there with her.

She stared into the mirror, her mind drifting to a false reality where Annie was here right now, she would comfort her and tell her everything with Eren was going to be okay because they’d always have each other.

Mikasa flopped down on the bed and pulled her phone out of her pocket

_1 unread message from Annie Leonhart_

**Annie:** I had fun tonight

Mikasa was about to text her the exact same thing, she blushed as she saw the message

 **Mikasa:** same, I still have your jacket.

 **Annie:** I wondered where it was

 **Mikasa:** hey can we meet tomorrow, I want to talk to you

Annie was the only one who could clear her mind

 **Annie:** Miss me that much already Ackerman?

 **Mikasa:** hmm do I want to give you the satisfaction of admitting it?

 **Annie:** anyways I am free for a few hours in the morning but I have work in the afternoon

 **Mikasa:** I’ll look forward to it, sleep well Annie

 **Annie:** you too Mikasa

 _I love you_ Mikasa thought as she cuddled close to Annies jacket

It was too early for her to say, they were starting fresh.

The next morning Mikasa sat in the backroom of her coffee shop with Annie, she had a shift soon but she didn’t want to waste a second with Annie.

‘So Armin has just taken him in like a lost puppy?’ Annie sat back in her chair taking another sip of coffee after Mikasa explained everything that happened

‘Pretty much’

‘So how are you feeling about it?’

‘Im not sure’ Mikasa admitted ‘I wanted to reconnect with him, to resolve our issues and leave it behind us so I can be the best person I can be for you but now he’s back, I don’t know how to feel’

‘Its okay to be confused Mikasa, you two have a lot of history, no matter what happens, I’m by your side’

‘That really means a lot to me but I want to reassure you, you’re the one I want, I have no intentions of getting back with Eren’

‘I trust you’ Annie said ‘but I’m happy that we’re finally sorting our stuff out, I’m starting to feel like this might work’

‘Me too’

The were suddenly interrupted by a loud cough at the doorway

‘Im sorry but this area is for employees only’ it was Hitch.

Mikasa immediately panicked, she didn’t think Hitch had a shift today, she knew she had fucked up big time.

‘Oh uh hi Hitch, I didn’t expect to see you today’ Annie quietly said 

‘Im going to have to ask you to leave’

‘This doesn’t have to be awkward, I was going to reach out to you to apologise properly, I want to be friends’

‘Im not sure if I want that’ 

‘I get that, I fucked up big time’ Annie sighed ‘I regret it a lot, I hope you know that’

’Hah thats funny, because you seem to be rubbing it in right now’ Hitch venomously laughed as she gestured to Mikasa

‘I guess I should leave’ she sighed standing up ‘see you later Mikasa, I will call you’

Mikasa watched as Annie left the room, it went better than she expected, at least Hitch didn’t take out the knife they have under the sink. Hitch sat down in the seat opposite Mikasa, like they had for the past year

‘Im sorry’ Mikasa whispered

‘I thought you’d at least have enough respect for me to not bring her here’

‘I didn’t see your name on the schedule today, I thought we were safe’

‘Yeah I had to switch last minute’ Hitch explained ‘I wasnt in a good mood and seeing her didn’t help’

‘Why are you okay?’

‘I got in an argument with Marlo last night, he wants me to move in with him but I don’t know if I’m ready to commit’

‘It tends to be the make or break of a relationship’ Mikasa nodded downing her drink ‘ask yourself why you don’t want to move in with him’

‘Its not that, I do want to move in with him, I just have trust issues from Annie’

‘From what you’ve told me he’s completely different from Annie, just talk about it and find middle ground’

‘You’re shit at giving advice’

‘Well I better start getting back to work, I hope you feel better Hitch, I’ll make you a drink if you want’

‘That would be nice’ Hitch smiled ‘and I’m going to forgive Annie you know, I think I’m just going to keep acting like this for a while to punish her’

Mikasa laughed as she made her way out of the room

‘You’re right she deserves it’

After a long shift Mikasa was tired out of her mind, if she had to make another caramel iced coffee she was going to throw up. Eventually her feet lead her back to the apartment, she prayed that no one would be there.

As she opened the door she was greeted with Eren sitting on the couch, his eyes glued to the TV, the flashing pictures illuminating his face

‘Wheres Armin’ Mikasa asked not bothering to greet him

‘He went to the shops’ he stoically replied

Here goes nothing. 

She went and sat down next to him, making sure to keep a distance between them

‘What happened Eren?’ Mikasa sighed ‘last time we spoke you weren’t like this’

‘People change Mikasa, you’ve demonstrated that perfectly’

‘I became more mature, I’m not out on the street in possession of illegal drugs with the intent to sell’

‘When you left I moved in with Zeke, it was nice at first he didn’t care what I did or who I brought home but then his friends started coming over’ he explained ‘I just got caught up in their activities, it was easy money and at that time I had no one looking out for me’

‘You had Armin’

‘I couldn’t face him after what I did to you, I didn’t want him to see me as a failure’

‘You should of asked for help’

‘I couldn’t I got in too deep but that night was a wake up call for me, I couldn’t let myself bleed out in some crappy alley, I didn’t want that to be how I die’

‘Im glad you called Armin, now we can help you’ Mikasa half smiled ‘I know a good therapist, if you want his number I can give it to you’

‘Thanks Mikasa, you’re just as caring as ever, I regret what I did to you, I wasnt in the right headspace for us to be together’

She could feel him inch closer

‘Eren..’

‘Maybe one day, we could pick up where we left off, we always talked about being endgame, maybe some day I’ll be ready for you’

He moved closer and closer to her, she could feel him grab her hand, sitting uncomfortably she didn’t know what to do in this situation. He moved back her hair and started kissing her neck, she started to shake, she felt frozen in place. 

‘Eren no’ she snapped pushing him away

‘What? I’m just having fun, I thought you wanted it’

‘Being nice to you doesn’t give you a pass to make a move’ Mikasa stoically stated ‘and get that idea of us getting back together out of your head, its not happening’

He just stared at her blankly as she ranted

‘I want to be friends with you Eren, I really do, we’ve been friends since we were children but I don’t want you like that anymore. You completely broke my trust and it cannot be fixed, no matter what issues you have doesn’t excuse anything’

‘But I missed you Mikasa, I’m back now, I’m willing to put in the work, I want to make it up to you’

‘We can be friends and thats it, I’m setting my boundaries now to not lead you on, I hope that you respect that’

They were saved by the ringing of the doorbell, Mikasa silently thanked the universe as it kept ringing

‘Thats probably Armin, I’ll get it’ Mikasa said standing up and walking to the door, she opened the door to reveal Annie, she smiled at the surprise. Annie smiled back at her, she was holding flowers on her hands and a slight blush painted on her cheek as she saw Mikasa

‘This is a nice surprise’ Mikasa laughed as she completely forgot Eren sat in the background staring

‘Um these are for you’ Annie blushed offering the flowers, clearly embarrassed by the thought of giving someone flowers ‘I was just passing by and I thought I’d come see you. oh’ Mikasa could see her face drop as she saw Eren sitting on the couch

‘I can leave if you want’ Annie said ‘I get it if you want to spend time with him’

’NO’ Mikasa abruptly stated begging that Annie would understand she just saved her ‘lets go on a walk together okay, I’ll go get my coat’

Mikasa rushed into the bedroom and picked up hers and Annies jacket, she didn’t want to leave Annie standing there with Eren for too long.

‘Ready to go?’ Mikasa asked grabbing Annies hand

‘Sure’ 

Mikasa shot a strange look at Eren and dragged Annie out into the cold street

‘Are you okay Mikasa? you seem a little hyper’ Annie asked concerned as Mikasa continued walking them down the street, eventually Mikasa stopped in her tracks and turned to Annie.

Unexpectedly Annie felt Mikasa’s lips crash against hers, at first she felt in shock but soon she warmed into Mikasa’s soft lips as they moved against hers, enjoying being close to her, basking in the warm feeling that bubbled in her stomach. Mikasa then let go of her and reluctantly pulled apart their lips

‘What was that for?’ Annie asked in shock ‘I mean I’m not complaining but it was unexpected’

‘Eren made a move on me’ Mikasa blurted out ‘I pushed him away immediately and told him it was unacceptable, I know we’re not properly together or anything but I still felt like I had betrayed you’

Annie then let out a loud laugh and planted a kiss on Mikasa’s cheek.

‘You didn’t initiate it right?’ Mikasa nodded at Annies question ‘then it doesn’t matter, you can’t help what he does, there’s no reason to feel bad’

‘I just don’t know how I’m going to cope living with him, I know Eren, he’s not good with the word no’

‘Move in with me then’ Mikasa looked up to Annie in shock, how could she say that statement so casually

‘I thought we were taking things slow’ Mikasa questioned ‘this is some very fast speed’

‘Im just saying that the option is there if he makes you uncomfortable, okay?’ Annie said as she pulled Mikasa into a hug ‘maybe just stay at mine tonight, I have a spare room if you think I’m going to try anything’

‘You don’t live with your dad anymore?’

‘I got my own place, so what do you say, we can have a sleepover like we did in high school’

‘This still feels too fast’

‘Hm I’ll back off if you want’ Annie said as she let Mikasa out of the hug, Mikasa immediately pulled her back in

‘No, I want to stay at yours tonight’ she blushed looking down at Annie ‘I mean when have we followed normal rules anyway’

’True’

They continued to walk down the road hand in hand as Annie lead Mikasa to her apartment.

Things were good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> umm hi, I just wanted to say thank you for reading and all of the kind comments you have left, it really makes me happy seeing how so many of you enjoy my story. I know this chapter is short but I wanted to post one today for the one month anniversary of the fic.  
> I hope you all are having a great day and I really hope you're enjoying it so far <3


	10. closer

Mikasa woke up the next morning, her eyes squinting at the light that managed to make its way through the curtains and she looked over to the blonde girl that lie next to her, she glared at her lovingly as she slept and basked in the happiness that her and Annie were finally here together, things seemed to be finally working out.

‘So are you going to say good morning or are you just going to keep staring at me like some stalker’ Annie mumbled opening her eyes

‘I didn’t know you were awake’ Mikasa defended

‘I woke up to see your eyes just glaring, I think you need to tone down on the creeping’ she joked

‘You’re just cute when you sleep, you can’t blame me’

‘Hm Ive always been told I’m an unsettled sleeper, can’t ever keep still, I don’t get how thats cute’

‘Just shut up and take the compliment’ Mikasa blushed as she laid her head onto Annies shoulder ‘but good morning, I hope you slept well’

‘I haven’t slept that well in a while’ Annie stroked Mikasa’s soft tangled hair ‘having you next to me seemed to help’

‘Im glad to be of service’

‘Do you want a coffee or something’ Annie asked detaching herself from Mikasa, trying to get out of bed but Mikasa immediately pulled her back in

‘Hm no we can get something later, I want to stay here with you’

‘God you’re clingy but I have work today so I have to get ready’

Mikasa slightly huffed as she let go and got out of bed

‘You’re right, I probably should be going as well, I don’t want to overstay my welcome’ Mikasa sighed as she started to change out of the t-shirt Annie leant her and back into last nights clothes.

‘you’re always welcome here’ 

‘Thats nice but I really need to get used to Eren being around’

‘Hm you don’t have to be around him if he makes you uncomfortable you know’ Annie said as she rested her head on Mikasa’s shoulder while she buttoned up her shirt

‘I want to try with him, I have hope’

‘Just don’t let him take advantage of you, I don’t want you to get hurt’

‘Ive made it clear to him I’m not interested’ Mikasa frowned as she turned to Annie ‘there’s only one person on my mind’

‘Oh really?’ Annie smirked locking her arms around Mikasa’s neck ’she must be a very lucky girl’

‘Hm some may say so, although she can be quite cold and mean, seems to love the idea of constantly leaving me and makes wooshing noises in her sleep, always waking me up’

‘Ouch I deserve that’

‘Yet somehow I still want them, despite their flaws’

‘What did I do to deserve you?’ Annie sighed kissing Mikasa lightly as she blushed ‘and as much as I want to stay here with you I really need to get ready for work’

‘How about, I text you later and maybe we can plan a date?’

‘Ill look forward to it’ Annie smiled as she left the bedroom, Mikasa following slowly behind her, she watched as Annie poured herself a drink and leant against the kitchen counter, her messy blonde locks covering her face, she wished every morning could be like this, she wanted nothing more than for Annie to be the first thing she saw in the morning and the last thing she saw at night.

But they were going too fast, she could feel it.

Mikasa knew that if they continued at this speed they’d eventually burst into flames, they needed to find a balance rather than either depending on each other completely or becoming so far out emotionally. Annie had barely been back, it’s been less than a week and she’s already spending the night, while she savoured every moment, her mind couldn’t help but fester with worry, could she balance her new life with Annie while picking up the pieces of Eren’s or would this inevitably fail like it did every time there seemed to be a moment of calm in her life.

‘You’re staring again’ Annie grunted 

‘Sorry’

’Its cute’ Annie half smiled ‘but you seem unsettled’

‘Im fine, i’ll talk to you later Annie’ Mikasa opened the door and walked out of Annie’s sight, leaving Annie alone in the apartment. Annie saw that look on her face, the face she always harboured whenever she felt upset or doubtful, that look made Annie feel fearful, worried for them but she brushed it off, her and Mikasa are happy, they will be happy. 

‘Ill talk to her about it later’ Annie mumbled to herself as she changed into her sports clothes, getting ready for a long day of making personal fitness plans and trying her best to encourage her clients to just keep pushing through.

She enjoyed her new job, she got to do what she loved and get paid for it. her dad was proud of her and she made enough to support both herself and him, it was all she had ever wanted in her life and unlike the army she got to stay right here, where Mikasa was.

The day was slow and tedious, very much a repeat of the day before, she saw all the same clients and did all the same routines, just sometimes she wished for variation.

During her break she stood against the wall outside, drinking a smoothie. Part of her missed smoking, it gave her something to do and got her through the hard days, but as soon as she got to uni the second she put a cig to her lips all she could think of was Mikasa and her disapproval, living for yourself was hard but living for someone else is harder, the only thing she wants is a long happy life with the girl she loves the most, her bad habits could have been the death of that.

‘Hey Leonhart’ 

Annie reflection was broken by another trainer, Levi, who had come to join her on her break. They didn’t really talk much, only a simple nod of greeting here and there, he always had dark under eye circles and a cold unemotional front, much like Annie ,except considerably older, he was an unapproachable person, yet he was strong, one of the most popular trainers at the gym especially with the female clients despite his strict work ethic and numb words

‘What do you want?’ She asked cooly as he took out a smoke

‘Want one?’ He asked lighting it up

‘Fuck off, I quit awhile back’

’I don’t really pay attention to your life, I’m not going to apologise for not knowing’

‘I don’t expect one’

‘I saw you have some free time this afternoon, what are you doing with it?’

‘I was just planning on taking an early finish’

‘I need you to take on one of my clients this afternoon, I have other arrangements’ he suggested but it sounded more like an order

‘And why me? can’t Petra do it, she’s more qualified for your clients’

‘Petra’s on a sick day, you’re the only one with free time’

‘You owe me’ she groaned walking off, irritated that the higher ups always pushed her around, she was looking forward to a calming afternoon at home but thanks to Levi she was stuck training a client who she knew nothing about, part of her was sick of the older trainers pushing her around.

She made her way back into the gym, the warm sweaty environment made her skin crawl, it was filled with people which altogether made Annie feel drained out of her mind. She rummaged through the cabinets behind the desk, looking for Levi’s files. They were relatively easy to find, for such an unreliable person, he was tidy, never left a file incomplete.

Annie flicked through the pages, looking for Levi’s next client, she slowly read his neat hand writing under her breath, looking for his three pm appointment.

Hitch Dreyse. 

She let out a loud sigh. This is going to be awkward. 

Annie scanned the room and saw the familiar caramel haired girl standing at the entrance of the gym occupied on her phone. 

‘Hitch’ Annie called out, grabbing her attention

‘Oh, its you’ Hitch frowned as Annie made her way towards her

‘Levi can’t make it today, you’re stuck with me, sorry’ Annie apologised, careful not to make eye contact with Hitch, worried she was going to upset her.

‘I guess I didn’t need a workout today anyway’

‘Do you want me to charge your account for the cancellation fee right now or do you want to add it onto your next session?’

‘Come on Annie, I work minimum wage, give me a break’

‘Company policy, now it says in your file you start with light treadmill work, do you want to get started on that?’

‘Fine’ Hitch groaned as she followed Annie through the gym.

Annie leant against the treadmill as Hitch slowly jogged, Annie watched as she did, her short hair was tied into a low pony and she wore trendy yet comfortable workout gear, Annie never knew Hitch worked with a trainer, she always seemed to do her own thing, but she shrugged as she realised there must of been a reason that her figure was always to perfection, Levi really worked wonders.

‘Lower your gaze Leonhart, remember your commitments’ Hitch attacked teasingly

‘Calm down I’m not creeping on you, its my job’ 

‘Well you don’t exactly have a good track record’

‘I don’t like what you’re implying’ Annie murmured, semi hurt by the accusation ‘circumstances were different’

‘I was joking, I know you’d never do to her what you did to me but you know what they say once a cheater-’

‘Always a cheater, I know’ Annie interrupted, uncomfortable with the atmosphere as she turned up the speed on the treadmill ‘I feel terrible about what I did, I hope you know that’

‘That doesn’t erase what you did to me’

‘I know, I want to make it up to you Hitch, I want us to be friends, I miss you’

‘Hmph I guess we did have fun together’

‘We did, despite all the shitty stuff, we got on well’

‘I’ll work on it, I’m not going to forgive you right away. I’m just not there yet’

‘I can understand that, since you’re friends with Mikasa maybe we could go on a double date, you can bring your boyfriend of course’

‘Id like that, ill see if Marlos up for it, although he has had to endure all my angry ranting about you’ Hitch laughed

‘You always did talk too much, I’m glad you’ve found someone to put up with it’

‘I wouldn’t get too honest you’re still on thin ice’

Annie smiled at Hitch, she felt warm that they could joke like this again especially after everything that had happened. She finally felt like things were falling into place for her.

***

Mikasa walked back to her apartment, the sun shining down one her, lighting up her black hair as she basked in its rays. She still felt an underlying worry but it all seemed to dissolve as she felt the warm sun beam on her. 

She smiled as she placed the keys into the lock of her apartment door, twisting them slightly to open the wooden door, it briskly opened with a soft click.

‘Armin I’m home’ she called out as she entered her house.

What she saw was very much different to Armin, Eren was sitting at the table, surrounded by about five friends, all packaging some sort of substance, guns and knives littered the table all while loud music played from the TV.

‘M-Mikasa, I didn’t think you’d be home this early’ Eren stuttered as he got up from the table and walked over to her

‘What the fuck is going on’ Mikasa froze ‘you better have a good explanation for this because I cant think of one’

Eren walked over to her, wrapping his arm around her waist

‘Hey guys this is my girlfriend, you know the one I was telling you about, she seems to be off her meds today so I’m going to go talk to her okay? Ill be back in a minute’ Eren leaned over to her ear and whispered ‘don’t say anything, for your safety and mine’

Loud cheers were heard from the table as Eren dragged Mikasa into her bedroom, getting them away from the noise

‘Eren please talk to me’ she begged as he shut the door ‘please tell me you’re not doing illegal shit in my home’

‘Mikasa I’m sorry, its more complicated than it seems’

‘I don’t get it, I thought you were dissociating yourself from that life’

‘I was but I cant, I need the money and these people are dangerous’ 

‘Me and Armin can look after you’ Tears started to fall down Mikasa’s face ‘all we want is to help you’

‘I don’t just want to leech off your shitty minimum wage jobs’ an angry look grew on his face ‘I can make so much more money through this, I can look after both of you’

‘What would Armin think if he saw what you were doing right now? Does he even know?’

‘He doesn’t need to know’

‘We could be arrested, you know this is illegal right?’

‘Mikasa you worry too much, I’m doing this for you, once I’ve made enough money we can move out of the city together, we can go wherever you want, I’ll take you there’ He calmly said putting his arm on her shoulder as she cried

‘I don’t like this, its too dangerous, these are the people who hurt you’

‘That was my fault, I fucked up. But as long as we both keep our heads down we’ll stay safe’

‘Do you know how terrible it is that you even had to say that!?’ Mikasa yelled ‘I cant be here anymore’

She picked up a bag out of the corner of her room and started to shove some clothes into it as Eren watched, she didn’t pack enough but it would last her the week, borrow her enough time to talk to Armin and sort out Eren’s problems

‘This feel familiar’ Eren stated, getting flashbacks from last year

‘Yeah it does, doesn’t it?’

‘I guess you’re staying with Annie’

‘Where else would I go?’

‘I really want to fix things with you but you’re not even giving me a chance, I wish you would understand why I’m doing this but instead you always run off to Annie who will coddle you and will always tell you what you want to hear and never how it is, you’re a child to her’

‘Thats not true, you know nothing about her’

‘Because she’s an insufferable cunt who only cares about you, its impossible to get close to her’

‘Id much rather that than a washed out boyfriend who runs drug operations in his childhood friends kitchen, after promising to get help’ Mikasa shouted, her face still streaming with tears ‘fuck you Eren, at least she tries to get better’

Mikasa stormed out of the room, keeping her eyes forward as she left the apartment, not even wanting to look properly at what was going on. Eren had betrayed her trust once more, no matter how hard he tried he’d always do what he thought was the best, no matter the expense, she understood him but cringed at his selfishness, she missed the Eren she fell in love with, the one who still had light in his eyes, the one who would go of of his way to protect his family, the one flooded with arrogance but it didn’t overcome him. Now he was just a shell of his former self, destroyed by his family and the truths of growing up.

She wanted to save him but he was slowly slipping through her fingers with every second that passed by, the clock would never stop for them, he just kept pushing forward with his warped reality.

He was in too deep.

***

Annie walked through the cool evening air, her earphones blasting music into her ears as she made her way back to her apartment after a long day, she was going to call Mikasa as soon as she got back, to check if she was ok after her distant behaviour and she was dying to hear her voice to unravel all her stress and untie the knots that formed in her mind. After talking to her the day would be complete and she could finally rest.

As she approached her apartment she saw a figure sitting on the steps, at first she paid no attention but as she got closer she could make out their features.

It was Mikasa. 

She sat on the stairs of Annies apartment crying, a bag placed next to her. She looked distraught and unstable, Annie could feel that she was slipping through the cracks of reality. 

‘Mikasa! Why are you here? Are you okay?’ Annie stated calmly as Mikasa rested her tear filled face on her shoulder, she continued to sob, unable to reply ‘its ok, I’m here now, you can talk to me, I won’t judge you’

They sat together like this for awhile, Mikasa upset in Annies arms as Annie whispered sweet word of affirmation as tears dampened her shoulder.

‘Its Eren’ Mikasa finally said, calming down ‘I don’t know where I went wrong with him’

‘Its not your fault for whatever he’s done, he’s his own person’

’Sometimes I feel like, if I had stayed by his side he wouldn’t have gone down this path’

’Stop being so selfless, a year ago you did what you thought would make you the happiest, you’re incredibly strong and I’m proud of you for that’

‘Its difficult’

‘Yeah well life is, you’re not responsible for anyone but yourself’ 

‘Can I um stay with you for a few nights, I promise it won’t be for too long’ Mikasa asked wiping her face

‘You can stay as long as you want’ Annie cooly said, internally screaming that Mikasa was going to be by her side for longer 

‘When did you get so soft?’

‘You melt me Ackerman’ Annie chuckled ‘now how about we get off this cold street and go inside, I have a movie I want to watch with you, one of the characters reminded me of you’

‘That sounds perfect’

Mikasa felt like she was finally home in a melancholy way, she tried to be happy and put on a brave face for Annie, the last thing she wanted to do was to worry her, she needed to be the strong Mikasa everyone knew for them to stay afloat.

Although trying to be strong could be her downfall.


End file.
